Vol. 2.3

Islamophobia

Dry Bones cartoon, Palestine, Palestinians, palestinian, West Bank, Settlements, Settlers, Double Standard, Arab, Arabs, anti-Israel, anti-Zionism, Israel, Occupied Territories, africa, moslem, muslim, islam, islamists,Occupation,
Islamists are conducting an effective effort to conquer the world for their god , to repress women, to destroy the Jews, and to repress and subject everyone else. They are now making a major African move in Mali.

So I’m either simply stating the facts of life in our ties, or I’m an out of control hysteric, a racist who hates people of color, and a dangerous Islamophobe.

Your opinion?

-Dry Bones- Israel’s Political Comic Strip Since 1973

Bibi and the U.S. President (1998)

dry bones


January 04, 1998
Dry Bones, cartoon, golden oldie
I often have fun wondering where we were and what was going on 10 and twenty years ago. I don’t do crosswords or Suduko’s, I’m not interested in Horoscopes or Sports, But if a newspaper has a 25 years ago this month kind of feature, I always read it. So when I began the Dry Bones blog back in 2005 I decided to have two Golden Oldies each week.

Sometimes I look for cartoons that are pertinent to current events, but mostly I like to just see what was going on in the “Old Days”. Today I decided to take a peek at January 1998, fifteen years ago this month.

Interesting, hey? Your thoughts?

-Dry Bones- Israel’s Political Comic Strip Since 1973


Ben Stein’s Diary

Dropping the Hagel Bomb


Obama, Israel, and Chuck Hagel’s nomination.

 

#yiv2076191087 st20003a*{}#yiv2076191087 st10003a*{}

You really cannot, in fairness, blame President 0bama for naming “Chuck” Hagel, one of the most clearly anti-Israel, anti-Semitic members of the Senate (or ex-members in his case) to be Secretary of Defense. President 0bama has not changed his views on Israel since his first speech at the Democrat convention in 2004, when he made it clear that his sympathies in the Middle East lay with the Palestinians. In a way, you have to admire his consistency. Of course, he has to pay lip service to Israel when he visits Miami Beach, but how he must laugh at the audiences [comprised of so many Jews] that applaud him.
He is a charter member of the Chicago angry black man entity, and they – including former pals JeremiahWright and Minister Farrakhan – have little love for the Jews. So, again, his contempt for Israel and for Jews is not a surprise.
The parts that are so heart breaking are that:
1.) Most American Jews clearly supported Mr. 0bama in his bid for President against a GOP that has been an incomparably stronger supporter of Israel than the modern-day Democrat party.If one is to judge from the stony faces at the DNC whenever Israel was mentioned, and the fervent support of Iran on those same faces, one can clearly see who was Israel’s friend and who was not.Never mind, Barack 0bama got two thirds of the Jewish vote.That was decisive in Florida, Virginia, and Ohio.
Barack 0bama’s most productive fund-raisers, especially at the “millionaires and billionaires“ level that Mr. 0bama supposedly hates so much, were almost unanimously Jews.How they are going to square this with Senator Hagel’s nomination to a post that is of life or death importance to Israel is anyone’s guess.
But here is a clue: the really committed left-wing Jew does not care much about Israel.Jews in many cases have loyalties that trump their interest to Israel.Their support of Mr. 0bama is a case in point.Obviously, it is the right of Left-wing American Jews to have contempt for the Jewish state.That’s what freedom means.
On orders from Moscow, American Jewish Communists suspended criticism of Hitler during the August 1939 – June 1941 period of the Ribbentrop-Molotov pact.Violation of that edict was called “premature anti-fascism” and men died for it.Not for a moment would I compare Mr.0bama to any of the evil names above in this paragraph.I merely point out that those who think all Jews in America consider Israel a high priority are mistaken.The Left-wing group-think party line far outranks Zionism for many, many Jews.
You are going to see this in the immediate future, as Mr.0bama lines up his many Jewish friends and supporters to back Mr.Hagel.
2.) I hope the people who are supporting ChuckHagel know that by confirming him, they are cementing at 100 percent odds that Iran will get a nuclear capability without U.S. interference.Whether Israel can survive an Islamic bomb is questionable at best.This means a vote to confirm Mr.Hagel is a vote that expresses no interest in whether Israel survives.
As a student of anti-Semitism in Europe before, during, and after the Holocaust, no amount of hatred and loathing for Jews surprises me.Americans who do love Israel should be aware, though, that it is growing much more likely by the moment that there will be a second Holocaust.The only real friends that Israel has on this earth, evangelical Christians, will take note.Whether anyone else will is a big question.
3.) In a few days, we will mark that 100th birthday of RichardNixon, the best friend in the White House that Jews have ever had.Even now, if you mention Nixon to Israelis, they tear up with gratitude about how Mr.Nixon saved them in 1973.
American Jews have a very different attitude.I suspect that Mr.0bama will get away with his contempt for Israel, and that the same Jews who have always put the party line ahead of Israel will still support him.If Iran kills two million Jews in an afternoon (God forbid!) they will find a way to blame GeorgeW.Bush.
Poor Israel, poor beleaguered Israel, abandoned by so many people who call themselves Jewish, so alone, so terribly alone.

About the Author

BenStein is a writer, actor, economist, and lawyer living in Beverly Hills and Malibu.He writes “Ben Stein’s Diary” for every issue of The American Spectator.

Chuck Hagel at Defense?

by Daniel Pipes
January 28, 2013

http://www.danielpipes.org/blog/2013/01/chuck-hagel-at-defense

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Three thoughts as the U.S. Senate gears up to consider on Jan 31 the nomination of Chuck Hagel for the position of secretary of defense:

(1) It’s more than a bit curious that Barack Obama should nominate a politician of no distinction, with no significant bills to his name, no administrative accomplishments, and no known ideas, to the hugely important post of secretary of defense. It’s even more curious that Hagel is known for only two foreign policy/defense views: being soft on Iran and hostile to Israel. This certainly sends a strong signal to Israel.

(2) It’s been dismaying to note that, after an initial expression of skepticism, American Jewish institutions have taken a pass on the Hagel nomination. It would appear that, for them, access trumps other considerations.

(3) In contrast, Christians United for Israel (CUFI), released a statement expressing opposition to Hagel on account of his “unacceptable blindness to the greatest security threat of our day,” namely Iran and Hezbollah. In addition, CUFI announced that at least 400 Christian leaders will travel to Capitol Hill this week to lobby representatives of all 100 senators.

Comment: Odd that CUFI is out there swinging and the American Israel Public Affairs Committee is silent. (January 28, 2013)

London Cabbie……..You just got to love this. !!!!!………………………..

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A devout Arab got into a black cab in London. He curtly asked the cabbie to turn off the radio because as decreed by his religious teaching, he must not listen to music because in the time of the prophet there was no music, especially Western music which is the music of the infidel.

The cab driver politely switched off the radio, stopped the cab and opened the door.

The Arab asked him, “What are you doing?

The cabbie answered, “In the time of the prophet there were no taxis, so **** off and wait for a camel!”

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SENIORS IN FLORIDA

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Three old ladies were sitting side by side in their retirement home in Cape Coralreminiscing. The first lady recalled shopping at the green grocers and demonstrated with her hands, the length and thickness of a cucumber she could buy for a penny.

The second old lady nodded, adding that onions used to be much bigger and cheaper also, and demonstrated the size of two big onions she could buy for a penny a piece.

The third old lady remarked, ‘I can’t hear a word you’re saying, but I remember the guy you’re talking about.

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imageLive Oak

A little old lady was sitting on a park bench in The Villages, a FloridaAdult community. A man walked over and sits down on the other end of the bench. After a few moments, the woman asks, ‘Are you a stranger here?’

He replies, ‘I lived here years ago.’

‘So, where were you all these years?’

‘In prison,’ he says.

‘Why did they put you in prison?’

He looked at her, and very quietly said, ‘I killed my wife.’

‘Oh!’ said the woman. ‘So you’re single…?!’

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Two elderly people living in Fort Myers, he was a widower and she a widow, had known each other for a number of years. One evening there was a community supper in the Clubhouse.

The two were at the same table, across from one another. As the meal went on, he took a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered the courage to ask her, ‘Will you marry me?’

After about six seconds of ‘careful consideration,’ she answered ‘Yes. Yes, I will!’

The meal ended and, with a few more pleasant exchanges, they went to their respective places. Next morning, he was troubled. ‘Did she say ‘yes’ or did she say ‘no’?’

He couldn’t remember. Try as he might, he just could not recall. Not even a faint memory.

With trepidation, he went to the telephone and called her.

First, he explained that he didn’t remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the lovely evening past. As he gained a little more courage, he inquired, ‘When I asked if you would marry me, did you say ‘Yes’ or did you say ‘No’?’

He was delighted to hear her say, ‘Why, I said, ‘Yes, yes I will’ and I meant it with all my heart.’ Then she continued, ‘And I am so glad that you called, because I couldn’t remember who had asked me.’

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A man was telling his neighbor in Port Charlotte, ‘I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it’s state of the art.

It’s perfect.’

‘Really,’ answered the neighbor. ‘What kind is it?’

‘Twelve thirty.’

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A little old man shuffled slowly intoan ice cream parlor inBonitaSprings, and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.

After catching his breath he ordered a banana split.

The waitress asked kindly, ‘Crushed nuts?’

‘No,’ he replied, ‘hemorrhoids

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Life is short!

Break the rules!

Forgive quickly!

Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably.

And never regret

Anything that made you smile

The best things in life are free until the government finds out and taxes it.

(If you are what you eat, I need to eat a skinny person.)

There is an advantage to being a Muslim: When you change your wife, you can still keep the same photo on your desk.

!cid_1_1992726212@web142703_mail_bf1_yahoo

These outstanding insults are from an era before the
English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.

* A member of Parliament to Disraeli: “Sir, you will
either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.”

“That depends, Sir,” said Disraeli, “whether I embrace
your policies or your mistress.”

* “He had delusions of adequacy.”
– Walter Kerr

*”He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices
I admire.”
– Winston Churchill

* “I have never killed a man, but I have read many
obituaries with great pleasure.”
– Clarence Darrow

* “He has never been known to use a word that might
send a reader to the dictionary.”
– William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

* “Thank you for sending me a copy of your book;
I’ll waste no time reading it.”
– Moses Hadas

* “I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice
letter saying I approved of it.”
– Mark Twain

* “He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by
his friends..”
– Oscar Wilde

* “I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of
my new play; bring a friend, if you have one.”
– George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

* “Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second ….
if there is one.”
– Winston Churchill, in response.

* “I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost
like having you here.”
– Stephen Bishop

* “He is a self-made man and worships his creator.”
– John Bright

* “I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s
nothing trivial.”
– Irvin S. Cobb

* “He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of
dullness in others.”
– Samuel Johnson

* “He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.”
– Paul Keating

* “In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always
yielded easily.”
– Charles, Count Talleyrand

* “He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.”
– Forrest Tucker

* “Why do you sit there looking like an envelope
without any address on it?”
– Mark Twain

* “His mother should have thrown him away and
kept the stork.”
– Mae West

* “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others,
whenever they go.”
– Oscar Wilde

* “He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts…
for support rather than illumination.”
– Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

* “He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.”
– Billy Wilder

* “I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening.
But this wasn’t it.”
– Groucho Marx.

You do not need to know Hebrew to get this, enjoy.
Perceptions of Jews by Renowned Gentiles:
Description: http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSZ0JLiL7QJpILTyxTeqBNWmXavtqNXpO5_4EoMGslaazEviFiuJbH9ePbJrw

If you don’t have the time, at least try #9…. #9 is a must.
#1
“Some people like the Jews, and some do not. But no thoughtful man can deny the fact that they are, beyond any question, the most formidable and the most remarkable race which has appeared in the world.”

— Winston Churchill
————————————————————————
-#2
“The Jew is that sacred being who has brought down from heaven the everlasting fire, and has illumined with it the entire world. He is the religious source, spring, and fountain out of which all the rest of the peoples have drawn their beliefs and their religions.”

— Leo Tolstoy

————————————————————————
-#3
“It was in vain that we locked them up for several hundred years behind the walls of the Ghetto. No sooner were their prison gates unbarred than they easily caught up with us, even on those paths which we opened up without their aid.”

— A. A. Leroy Beaulieu, French publicist, 1842

————————————————————————
-#4
“The Jew gave us the Outside and the Inside – our outlook and our inner life. We can hardly get up in the morning or cross the street without being Jewish. We dream Jewish dreams and hope Jewish hopes. Most of our best words, in fact – new, adventure, surprise, unique, individual, person, vocation, time, history, future, freedom, progress, spirit, faith, hope, justice – are the gifts of the Jews.”

— Thomas Cahill, Irish Author

————————————————————————
-#5
“One of the gifts of the Jewish culture to Christianity is that it has taught Christians to think like Jews, and any modern man who has not learned to think as though he were a Jew can hardly be said to have learned to think at all.”

— William Rees-Mogg, former Editor-in-Chief for The Times of London and a member of the House of Lords

————————————————————————
-#6
“It is certain that in certain parts of the world we can see a peculiar people, separated from the other peoples of the world and this is called the Jewish people….

This people is not only of remarkable antiquity but has also lasted for a singular long time… For whereas the people of Greece and Italy, of Sparta, Athens and Rome and others who came so much later have perished so long ago, these still exist, despite the efforts of so many powerful kings who have tried a hundred times to wipe them out, as their historians testify, and as can easily be judged by the natural order of things over such a long spell of years. They have always been preserved, however, and their preservation was foretold… My encounter with this people amazes me…”

— Blaise Pascal, French Mathematician

———————————————————————–
-#7
“The Jewish vision became the prototype for many similar grand designs for humanity, both divine and man-made. The Jews, therefore, stand at the centre of the perennial attempt to give human life the dignity of a purpose.”

–Paul Johnson, American Historian

————————————————————————
-#8
“As long as the world lasts, all who want to make progress in righteousness will come to Israel for inspiration as to the people who had the sense for righteousness most glowing and strongest.”

–Matthew Arnold, British poet and critic

————————————————————————
-#9
“Indeed it is difficult for all other nations of the world to live in the presence of the Jews. It is irritating and most uncomfortable. The Jews embarrass the world as they have done things which are beyond the imaginable. They have become moral strangers since the day their forefather, Abraham, introduced the world to high ethical standards and to the fear of Heaven. They brought the world the Ten Commandments, which many nations prefer to defy.. They violated the rules of history by staying alive, totally at odds with common sense and historical evidence. They outlived all their former enemies, including vast empires such as the Romans and the Greeks. They angered the world with their return to their homeland after 2000 years of exile and after the murder of six million of their brothers and sisters.

They aggravated mankind by building, in the wink of an eye, a democratic State which others were not able to create in even hundreds of years. They built living monuments such as the duty to be holy and the privilege to serve one’s fellow men.

They had their hands in every human progressive endeavour, whether in science, medicine, psychology or any other discipline, while totally out of proportion to their actual numbers. They gave the world the Bible and even their “saviour.”

Jews taught the world not to accept the world as it is, but to transform it, yet only a few nations wanted to listen. Moreover, the Jews introduced the world to one God, yet only a minority wanted to draw the moral consequences. So the nations of the world realize that they would have been lost without the Jews.. And while their subconscious tries to remind them of how much of Western civilization is framed in terms of concepts first articulated by the Jews, they do anything to suppress it.

They deny that Jews remind them of a higher purpose of life and the need to be honourable, and do anything to escape its consequences.. It is simply too much to handle for them, too embarrassing to admit, and above all, too difficult to live by.

So the nations of the world decided once again to go out of ‘their’ way in order to find a stick to hit the Jews. The goal: to prove that Jews are as immoral and guilty of massacre and genocide as some of they themselves are.

All this in order to hide and justify their own failure to even protest when six million Jews were brought to the slaughterhouses of Auschwitz and Dachau; so as to wipe out the moral conscience of which the Jews remind them, and they found a stick.

Nothing could be more gratifying for them than to find the Jews in a struggle with another people (who are completely terrorized by their own leaders) against whom the Jews, against their best wishes, have to defend themselves in order to survive. With great satisfaction, the world allows and initiates the rewriting of history so as to fuel the rage of yet another people against the Jews. This in spite of the fact that the nations understand very well that peace between the parties could have come a long time ago, if only the Jews would have had a fair chance. Instead, they happily jumped on the wagon of hate so as to justify their jealousy of the Jews and their incompetence to deal with their own moral issues.

When Jews look at the bizarre play taking place in The Hague , they can only smile as this artificial game once more proves how the world paradoxically admits the Jews’ uniqueness. It is in their need to undermine the Jews that they actually raise them.

The study of history of Europe during the past centuries teaches us one uniform lesson: That the nations which received and in any way dealt fairly and mercifully with the Jew have prospered; and that the nations that have tortured and oppressed them have written out their own curse.”

–Olive Schreiner, South African novelist and social activist

————————————————————————
-#10
“If there is any honour in all the world that I should like, it would be to be an honorary Jewish citizen.”

–A.L Rowse, authority on Shakespeare.

WHEN YOU FEEL STUPID,READ THIS!
You’ll feel much better after this….
and then read it again; you’ll begin to think you’re a genius…..
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(On September 17, 1994, Alabama’s Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.)
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: “I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,”
–Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.
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“Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean I’d love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.”
–Mariah Carey
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“Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life,”
— Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
“I’ve never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,”
–Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
“Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,”
–Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC . ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
“That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I’m just the one to do it,”
–A congressional candidate in Texas .
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
“Half this game is ninety percent mental.”
–Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
“It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment. It’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it..”
–Al Gore, Vice President
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
“I love California . I practically grew up in Phoenix .”
— Dan Quayle
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
“We’ve got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?”
–Lee Iacocca
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
“The word “genius” isn’t applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.”
–Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
“We don’t necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people.”
— Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.
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“Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you.. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances.”
–Department of Social Services, Greenville , South Carolina
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“Traditionally, most of Australia ‘s imports come from overseas.”
–Keppel Enderbery
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Feeling smarter yet?
Send it on to
your brilliant friends.
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I just did !!

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A Jewish couple in London won twenty-million pounds in the lottery. They bought a magnificent mansion in Knightsbridge and surrounded themselves with all the material wealth imaginable.

They decided to hire a butler. They found the perfect butler through an agency, very proper and very British, and he came to work for them.

The day after his arrival, he was instructed to set up the dining table for four, as they were inviting the Cohen’s to lunch. The couple then left the house to do some shopping .

When they returned, they found the table set for eight. Perplexed, they asked the butler why it was set for eight when they had expressly asked him to set it for four. The butler replied, “The Cohens telephoned and said they were bringing the Blintzes and the Knishes.”

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The Deadly Israeli House
Posted by Daniel Greenfield @ the Sultan Knish blog 42 Comments

There are few weapons as deadly as the Israeli house. When its bricks and mortar are combined together, the house, whether it is one of those modest one story hilltop affairs or a five floor apartment building complete with hot and cold running water, becomes far more dangerous than anything green and glowing that comes out of the Iranian centrifuges.

Forget the cluster bomb and the mine, the poison gas shell and even tailored viruses. Iran can keep its nuclear bombs. They don’t impress anyone in Europe or in Washington DC. Genocide is equally not worthy of attention when in the presence of the fearsome weapon of terror that is an Israeli family of four moving into a new apartment downwind from Jerusalem.

Sudan may have built a small mountain of African corpses, but it can’t expect to command the full and undivided attention of the world until it does something truly outrageous like building a house and filling it with Jews. Since the Sudanese Jews are as gone as the Jews of Egypt, Iraq, Syria and good old Afghanistan, the chances of Bashir the Butcher pulling off that trick are rather slim.

Due to the Muslim world’s shortsightedness in driving out its Jews from Cairo, Aleppo and Baghdad  to Jerusalem, the ultimate weapon in international affairs is entirely controlled by the Jewish State. The Jewish State’s stockpile of Jews should worry the international community far more than its hypothetical stockpiles of nuclear weapons. No one besides Israel, and possibly Saudi Arabia, cares much about the Iranian bomb. But when Israel builds a house, then the international community tears its clothes, wails, threatens to recall its ambassadors and boycott Israeli peaches.

You can spit on the White House carpets and steal all the gold in Greece. You can blow up anything you like and threaten anyone you will, but you had better not lift a drill near Gilgal, where Joshua and a few million escaped Hebrew slaves pitched their camp.

Some may think that genocide or nuclear weapons are the ultimate weapons, but as we see, time and time again, the ultimate weapon is a hammer and a fistful of nails in a Jewish hand. How can even the most talented Iranian nuclear scientist hope to compete with the humble tools of a Jewish carpenter?

Obama has yet to respond to the Muslim Brotherhood coup in Egypt. The gangs of paid rapists assaulting women in Tahrir Square on behalf of the Sharia state are nothing for the White House to worry about. Tunisian protesters against Islamist rule are losing their eyes, but Tunisian eyes come and go, Jewish houses are forever.

Everyone has their standards and he and the international community have theirs. There are things that we all cannot abide. And for all the Miss America answers about ending war, hunger and people who wear plaid in public, the one thing that everyone will stand up against or sit down in opposition to is the Israeli house.

White House officials are already insisting that Netanyahu “humiliated” Obama by authorizing the building of houses. This is the worst Israeli crime since two years ago when the city of Jerusalem passed some houses through one stage of a multi-stage approval process while Biden was visiting the country.

Hillary called it an insult and spent two hours yelling at Netanyahu over the phone. Axelrod declared it an affront. Biden was so furious that he refused to come down for dinner until an hour later. For weeks the media howled that Netanyahu had humiliated Obama through the dastardly act of allowing one of the country’s mayors to approve housing while the sacred presence of Joseph Robinette Biden Jr was intersecting with Israeli airspace.

While Russia may threaten war against the United States, China may mock the United States at a ceremonial banquet in the White House, Iran and North Korea may play Obama for a fool, but only Israel has managed to achieve official recognition for “insulting and humiliating” Obama, without even trying, proving once again that the Jewish race is so talented that it often achieves things that other people may only dream of, without even realizing that they are doing it.

Now that Netanyahu has gone to the mattresses, literally, by authorizing new housing, the media has begun braying that Israel has humiliated Obama all over again. They say that every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings. But every time an Israeli jackhammer roars, Obama stands, like that famous trash-mourning fake Indian, off Highway 1 between Jerusalem and Tel Aviv, with a tear slowly making its way down one glistening cheek at the sight of another humiliating Israeli house.

According to the New York Times, which is never wrong, building more houses makes peace impossible. Peace, which is not in any way obstructed by rockets, suicide bombers, unilateral statehood bids and declarations of war, comes up against only one obstacle. The stout unyielding wall of the Israeli house. You can shell Israeli houses, bomb them and break inside to massacre the people living inside, but then after all that, Israel goes and builds more of those damn things.

Hamas shoots thousands of rockets and Israel builds thousands of houses. But Israeli houses generally stay where they’re built, while Hamas rockets are as likely to kill Gazans as they are to put holes in the roofs of those dastardly houses. And in the arms race between houses and rockets, the Israelis appear to be winning. And that’s not good for peace. If Israelis get the dangerous idea that they can just keep building houses and outlast all the talented rocketeers who spend their time with the Koran in front of one eye and the Anarchist’s Cookbook in front of the other, then what hope is there for peace?

That is why no one cares much about Hamas rockets, which only kill Israelis, who most reasonable people in London, Paris and Brussels think have it coming anyway, but get into a foaming lather about an Israeli house. Killing Israelis has never been any obstacle to peace. Twenty years of killing Israelis has not dissuaded a single Israeli government from sitting down at the table to dicker with the terrorists. But an Israeli family living in a house is holding down territory that it will be harder to then cede to terrorists when the angels have blown their horns, the seas have all gone dry and peace is carried in on a golden platter by 72 virgins accompanied by their flying suicide bomber mates.

The problem is an old one. Pharaoh struggled with it. So did Hitler. And so does Hamas. What do you do when there are too many Jews living. The answer is usually obvious.

Israel’s Peace Partners tried to go back to the time-honored Egyptian tradition of throwing all the Jews into the sea. But despite an entire officer corps temporarily “on leave” from the armed forces of the United Kingdom, they only got as far as half of Jerusalem, where they blew up every synagogue, and took the West Bank of Israel, or as the non-indigenous Zionist invaders with no roots in the region call it, Judea and Samaria.

Nineteen years later, Israel’s Peace Partners had traded in their British officer corps for a Soviet officer corps, and lost Jerusalem, the West Bank and Gaza, proving that when it came to killing Jews, the Communists were better at it when the Jews weren’t shooting back. Ever since then the world, or those portions of it populated entirely by diplomats and the better class of journalists, has been urging Israel to give back the land to an imaginary country to be populated entirely by terrorists.

This peace plan, which has worked as well as fighting fire with gasoline, has not in any way been endangered by two decades of terror, but trembles down to its toes every time an Israeli hammer falls on an Israeli nail in the vicinity of Jerusalem. Because that land must go back so that rockets can be shot from it into Israel, so that Israel can invade it and reclaim it, and then sit down for another peace process to return the land from which the rockets will be fired, which will be invaded, which will be given back… for peace.

And Israeli houses endanger this cycle of peace and violence. They endanger it by creating “facts on the ground”, a piquant phrase that only seems to apply to houses with Jews. Muslim houses in no way create facts on the ground, even though they are built out of the same material and filled with people. Or perhaps they create the good kind of facts on the ground. The kind of preemption of negotiations that the professional peacemakers approve of.

But it’s hard to know what exactly the peacemakers approve of, because their arguments and their definitions keep changing all the time. All that we know is that they disapprove of Israeli houses.

The United States repeatedly assured Israel that Jerusalem would in no way be endangered by the peace process. No less a personality than Joseph Robinette Biden Jr. co-sponsored three Senate resolutions urging that Jerusalem should remain Israel’s undivided capital. Then like all good politicians, he was horribly offended when the Israelis actually took him at his word.

Obama gave an election speech four years ago where he declared that Jerusalem should be undivided. A day later he explained that he meant “undivided” in some spiritual sense that did not preclude it from actually being divided.

UN Chief Ban Ki-moon has declared Israeli houses to be an “almost fatal blow” to the peace process. It is, of course, only an “almost fatal blow” because the peace process, like Dracula, cannot be killed. Israeli houses, fearsome as they may be with their balconies and poor heating in winter, are never quite enough to kill it.

Like the monster of a horror movie, the peace process always comes back and no matter how many blows the Israeli house delivers to it, a year later there’s a sequel where the Israeli house is being stalked by the peace process monster all over again.

The army of lethal Israeli houses, which may not be built for another five years, if ever, seem formidable in the black newsprint of the New York Times, in the fulminations of Guardian columnists and the shrill talkingpointation of CNN talking heads, but its actual potency is limited to housing Jewish families and infuriating international diplomats and their media coathangers.

Europe is furious, Obama is seething, the UN is energized, and somewhere in Tehran, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad wipes the grease out of his mustache and wonders what he could do to get this much attention. He briefly scribbles down some thoughts on a napkin but then dismisses it as being too implausible. As much as it might get the world’s attention, there is just no way Iran can put up apartment buildings in Jerusalem.

Dear Dad Letter – Brilliant
 
 
A father passing by his son’s bedroom, was astonished to see the bed was
nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope, propped
up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, ‘Dad.’

With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and, with trembling
hands, read the letter…

 

“Dear, Dad.

It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you.
I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mum and you. I’ve been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but
I knew you would not approve of her, because of all her piercings, tattoos,
her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am.

But it’s not only the passion, Dad. She’s pregnant. Stacy said that
we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of
firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more
children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn’t really
hurt anyone. We’ll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with the
other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.

In the meantime, we’ll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS,
so Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!

Don’t worry Dad, I’m 15, and I know how to take care of myself.

Someday, I’m sure we’ll be back to visit, so you can get to know your many grandchildren.

Love, your son, Joshua

 
PS. Dad, none of the above is true.
I’m over at Jason’s house.
I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that’s on the kitchen table.

Call me when it is safe for me to come home

Vol. 2.2

image

To see video click here

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  • Copy Cats
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Copy Cats

Dry Bones cartoon, Palestine, Palestinians, palestinian, West Bank, Settlements, Settlers, Double Standard, Arab, Arabs, anti-Israel, anti-Zionism, Israel, Occupied Territories, Occupation, Judea, Samaria,
Has the Palestinian Settler Movement story made it to the media outlets where you live yet?

-Dry Bones- Israel’s Political Comic Strip Since 1973

Obama’s Anti-Zionism

by Daniel Pipes
The Washington Times
January 22, 2013

http://www.danielpipes.org/12473/obama-anti-zionism

Be the first of your friends to like this.

N.B.: Some small differences from the Washington Times version, which is titled “Obama second term bodes trouble for Israel”

Were Barack Obama re-elected, I predicted two months before the Nov. 2012 presidential vote, “the coldest treatment of Israel ever by a U.S. president will follow.” Well, election’s over and that cold treatment is firmly in place. Obama has signaled in the past two months what lies ahead by:

  • Choosing three senior figures – John Kerry for State, John Brennan for the CIA, and Chuck Hagel for Defense – who range from clueless to hostile about Israel.
  • Approving a huge gift of advanced weapons – 20 F-16 fighter jets and 200 M1A1 Abrams tanks – to the Islamist government in Egypt despite the fact that its president, Mohamed Morsi, has becoming increasingly despotic and calls Jews “blood-suckers, … warmongers, the descendants of apes and pigs.”
  • Reiterating the patronizing 35-year old tactic relied upon by anti-Israel types to condemn Israeli policies while pretending to be concerned for the country’s welfare: “Israel doesn’t know what its own best interests are.”
  • Ignoring evidence of Cairo importing Scud missile parts from North Korea.
  • Rebuffing the 239 House members who called for closing the PLO office in Washington in response to the PLO’s drive for state-observer status at the United Nations.

The three nominees – Chuck Hagel, John Kerry, John Brennan.

Asked about Obama’s nomination of Hagel, Ed Koch, the former New York City mayor who, despite his astringent criticism of Obama nonetheless endorsed him for re-election, offered an astonishing response: “I thought that there would come a time when [Obama] would renege on … his support of Israel [but this] comes a little earlier than I thought.” Even Obama’s pro-Israel supporters expected him to turn against the Jewish state!

These anti-Israel steps raise worries because they jibe with Obama’s early anti-Zionist views. We lack specifics, but we know that he studied with, befriended, socialized, and encouraged Palestinian extremists. For example:

Rashid Khalidi, former PLO functionary, then Obama pal.

A picture from 1998 shows him listening reverentially to anti-Israel theorist Edward Said. Obama sat idly by as speakers at an event in 2003 celebrating Rashid Khalidi, a former PLO public relations operative, accused Israel of waging a terrorist campaign against Palestinians and compared “Zionist settlers on the West Bank” to Osama bin Laden. Ali Abunimah, an anti-Israel agitator, commended Obama in 2004 for “his call for an even-handed approach to the Palestinian-Israeli conflict,” code words for distancing the U.S. government from Israel. In turn, Obama praised Abunimah for his obsessively anti-Israel articles in the Chicago Tribune, urging him to “Keep up the good work!”

Abunimah also reveals that, starting in 2002, Obama toned down his anti-Israel rhetoric “as he planned his move from small time Illinois politics to the national scene” and Obama made this explicit two years later, apologizing to Abunimah: “Hey, I’m sorry I haven’t said more about Palestine right now, but we are in a tough primary race. I’m hoping when things calm down I can be more up front.”

And Obama dutifully made the requisite policy changes, if in a cramped and reluctant manner (“I have to deal with him every day” he whined about Israeli prime minister Binyamin Netanyahu). He supported Israel in its 2008-09 and 2012 wars with Hamas. His administration called the Goldstone Report “deeply flawed” and backed Israel at the United Nations with lobbying efforts, votes, and vetoes. Armaments flowed. The Israeli exception to the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty remained in place. When Ankara canceled Israeli participation in the 2009 “Anatolian Eagle” air force exercise, the U.S. government pulled out in solidarity. If Obama created crises over Israeli housing starts, he eventually allowed these to simmer down.

A joint exercise patch for an exercise that never took place, available now on eBay for US$9.99.

Returning to the present: Netanyahu’s likely re-election as Israeli prime minister this week will mean continuity of leadership in both countries. But that does not imply continuity in U.S.-Israel relations; Obama, freed from re-election constraints, can finally express his early anti-Zionist views after a decade of political positioning. Watch for a markedly worse tone from the second Obama administration toward the third Netanyahu government.

Recalling what Obama said privately in March 2012 to the then-Russian president, Dmitry Medvedev (“This is my last election and after my election, I have more flexibility”), there is every reason to think that, having won that re-election, things have now “calmed down” and, after a decade of caution, he can “be more up front” to advance the Palestinian cause against Israel.

I also predicted in September that “Israel’s troubles will really begin” should Obama win a second term. These have begun; Jerusalem, brace for a rough four years.

    • Mr. Pipes (DanielPipes.org) is president of the Middle East Forum. © 2013 by Daniel Pipes. All rights reserved

       

    • Israeli Election Day

      Dry Bones cartoon, bibi, Netanyahu, Israel, Politics, Elections, Coalition, Democracy, social justice, Likud, Left, Right, Economy, left wing, right wing Elections, Knesset, Democracy,
      Election Day in Israel was declared a national holiday and the weather was gorgeous. The public voted and then most of us went to the beach, to cafes, or shopping for the rest of the “day off”. It was a delightful, very Israeli experience. Everyone seemed happy and up about being who and what we are.

      In the morning we found that we’ve handed our politicians a classic Israeli post-election dilemma. It feels so very Israeli and nostalgic that I did today’s cartoon in Blue and White.

      -Dry Bones- Israel’s Political Comic Strip Since 1973

Special Israeli Election Edition

I am, hopefully, back on a more regular basis. I will try to post at least once a week (less ambitious but perhaps more realistic). As you know, we here in Israel will be voting for a new Knesset next week. I personally am supporting Bayit Yehudi (“BY”) for several reasons. My main reason is that I believe there should be a religious party in the coalition and I prefer a national religious to Haredi. I firmly believe BY would be a strong coalition partner and would temper the one or two partners required from the center.

Shas has consistently held the government hostage and this must stop. Additionally, BY stands for increasing settlements, universal National Service, no land giveaways, one state. I believe in all of these principles as well.

 

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  • Israeli Elections
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Israeli Elections

Dry Bones cartoon, Obama, Bibi, Obama, Netanyahu, Bibi, Israel, America, President, Elections, Knesset, Democracy,
Israeli elections are being held this coming Tuesday. Local News sources claim that 24% of the public still has not made up it’s mind. That includes me. And the LSW (Long Suffering Wife).

-Dry Bones- Israel’s Political Comic Strip Since 1973

 

 

Click here for David Horvitz’ take on upcoming election, from Times of Israel.

 


A Far-Right Israeli Electorate? Contrary to conventional wisdom, Israelis haven’t become radicals. They’ve just abandoned a delusion. By Lee Smith

11 July 2012

For those of you coming to Israel, or friends of yours who are, and wish to have a great tour guide, please consider funjoelsisrael.com

.Joels Info0001

This is the Portuguese-Sephardic Synagogue in Amsterdam , Holland.

Only lit by candles, it was built several hundred years ago and never “electrified”. The arc, seats, bimah, etc. are all hand made by ship builders.

During WW II the Nazis somehow missed it and never entered, so it is completely intact and original. It is a real beauty.

Enjoy, Click on the link below:

 

How Long Do You Worry About Your Children?

Is there an imaginary cutoff period when
Offspring become accountable
For their own actions?
Is there some wonderful moment when
Parents can become detached spectators in
The lives of their children and shrug,
‘It’s Their life,’ and feel nothing?
image
When I was in my twenties,
I stood in a hospital corridor
Waiting for doctors to put a few stitches
In my son’s head and I asked,
‘When do you stop worrying?’
The nurse said,
‘When they get out of the accident stage..’
My Parents just smiled faintly
And said nothing.
image
When I was in my thirties,
I sat on a little chair in a classroom
And heard how one of my children
Talked incessantly, disrupted the class,
And was headed for a career
Making license plates.
As if to read my mind, a teacher said,
‘Don’t worry, they all go through this stage
And then you can sit back,
Relax and enjoy them.’
My Parents just smiled faintly
And said nothing.
image
When I was in my forties,
I spent a lifetime waiting
For the phone to ring,
The cars to come home,
The front door to open.
A friend said,
‘They’re trying to find themselves.
‘Don’t worry!
In a few years, they’ll be adults.
‘They’ll be off on their own
They’ll be out of your hair’
My Parents just smiled faintly
And said nothing.
image
By the time I was 50,
I was sick & tired of being vulnerable.
I was still worrying over my children,
But there was a new wrinkle..
Even though they were on their own
I continued to anguish over their failures,
Be tormented by their frustrations and
Absorbed in their disappointments..
And there was nothing I could do about it.
My Parents just smiled faintly
And said nothing.
image
My friends said that
When my kids got married
I could stop worrying
And lead my own life.
I wanted to believe that,
But I was haunted by my parent’s warm smiles
And their occasional,
‘You look pale. Are you all right’ ?
‘Call me the minute you get home’.
Are you depressed about something?’
image
My friends said that
When I became a grandparent
That I would get to enjoy
The happy little voices yelling
Savta! Saba!
But now I find that I worry
Just as much about the little kids
As the big ones.
How can anyone cope
With all this Worry?
image
Can it be that parents are sentenced
To a lifetime of worry?
Is concern for one another
Handed down like a torch
To blaze the trail of human frailties
And the fears of the unknown?
Is concern a curse or is it
A virtue that elevates us
To the highest form of earthly creation?
image
Recently, one of my own children
Became quite irritable, saying to me,
‘Where were you?
I’ve been calling for 3 days,
And no one answered
I was worried.’
I smiled a warm smile.
The torch has been passed.
image
PASS IT ON TO OTHER WONDERFUL PARENTS
(And also to your children… That’s the fun part)
YES, THERE ARE RABBIS IN MONTANA – AND A DOG WHO SPEAKS HEBREW!!!
HELENA, Mont. — In Montana, a rabbi is an unusual sight. So when a Hasidic one walked into the State Capitol last December, with his long beard, black hat and long black coat, a police officer grabbed his bomb-sniffing German shepherd and went to ask the exotic visitor a few questions.

Though there are few Jews in Montana today, there once were many. In the late 19th century, there were thriving Jewish populations in the mining towns, where Jews emigrated to work as butchers, clothiers, jewelers, tailors and the like.

The city of Butte (Maybe they should call it Tuchlas?) had kosher markets, a Jewish mayor, a B’nai B’rith lodge and three synagogues. Helena, the capital city, had Temple Emanu-El, built in 1891 with a seating capacity of 500. The elegant original facade still stands, but the building was sold and converted to offices in the 1930s, when the congregation had dwindled to almost nothing, the Jewish population having mostly assimilated or moved on to bigger cities.

There is a Jewish cemetery in Helena, too, with tombstones dating to 1866. But more Jews are buried in Helena than currently live here.

And yet, in a minor revival, Montana now has three rabbis , two in Bozeman and one (appropriately) in Whitefish. They were all at the Capitol on the first night of Hannukah last year to light a menorah in the ornate Capitol rotunda, amid 100-year-old murals depicting Sacajawea meeting Lewis and Clark, the Indians beating Custer, and the railway being built.

The security officer and the dog followed the rabbi into the rotunda, to size him up. Hanukkah has a special significance in Montana these days. In Billings in 1993, vandals broke windows in homes that were displaying menorahs. In a response organized by local church leaders, more than 10,000 of the city’s residents and shopkeepers put make-shift menorahs in their own windows, to protect the city’s three dozen or so Jewish families. The vandalism stopped.

Lately, the only commotion about Hanukkah has been the annual haggling among the rabbis over who gets to light the menorah at the Capitol. (It has since been resolved — at this year’s lighting, on Dec. 16, they will each light a candle; in the future they will take turns going first.) Last year, the rabbinic debate resumed as the hour of lighting neared and 20 or so Jewish Montanans filed into the Capitol.

One woman could be heard reporting, excitedly, that a supermarket in Great Falls would be carrying matzo next Passover; a guy from Missoula was telling everyone that he had just gotten a shipment of pastrami from Katz’s Deli in New York.

The menorah was lighted and Hebrew prayers chanted, while the officer watched from a distance with his dog. He figured he would let it all go down and then move in when the ceremony was done. The dog sat at attention, watching the ceremony with a peculiar expression on its face, a look of intense interest. When the ceremony was over, the officer approached the Hasidic rabbi.

“I’m Officer John Fosket of the Helena Police,” he said. “This is Miky, our security dog. Do you mind if I ask you a few questions?” Miky, pronounced Mikey, is in a Diaspora of his own. He was born in an animal shelter in Holland and shipped as a puppy to Israel, where he was trained by the Israeli Defense Forces to sniff out explosives.

Then one day, Miky got a plane ticket to America. Rather than spend the standard $20,000 on a bomb dog, the Helena Police Department had shopped around & discovered that it could import a surplus bomb dog from the Israeli forces for the price of the flight. So Miky came to his new home in Helena, to join the police force.

The problem, the officer explained, was that Miky had been trained entirely in Hebrew.

When Officer Fosket got Miky, he was handed a list of a dozen Hebrew commands and expressions, like “Hi’ sha’ er” (stay!), Ch’pess (search!), and “Kelev tov” (good doggy). He made flashcards and tried practicing with Miky. But poor Miky didn’t respond.

Officer Fosket (who is not Jewish) suspected he wasn’t pronouncing the words properly. He tried a Hebrew instructional audio-book from the local library, but no luck. The dog didn’t always understand what he was being ordered to do. Or maybe Miky was just using his owner’s bad pronunciation as an excuse to ignore him. Either way, the policeman needed a rabbi.

And now he had found one. They worked through a few pronunciations, and the rabbi, Chaim Bruk, is now on call to work with Miky and his owner as needed. Officer Fosket has since learned to pronounce the tricky Israeli “ch” sound, and Miky has become a new star on the police force. The two were even brought in by the Secret Service to work a recent presidential visit.

So all is well in the Jewish community here because the Hasidic rabbi is helping the Montana cop speak Hebrew to his dog. It is good news all around. The officer keeps the Capitol safe, and the Hebrew pooch is feeling more at home hearing his native tongue.

But the big winner is the rabbi, a recent arrival from Brooklyn who is working hard (against tough odds) to bring his Lubavitch movement to Montana. He has been scouring the state for anyone who can speak Hebrew, and is elated to have found a German shepherd he can talk to.
*************************************************************************
Eric A. Stern lives in Helena, Mont., and is senior counselor to Gov. Brian Schweitzer.

BEST TRUE LAWYER STORY OF THE YEAR, DECADE, AND POSSIBLY THE CENTURY


This took place in Charlotte , North Carolina .


A lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against, among other things, fire.
Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars, the lawyer filed a claim against the insurance company.
In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost

‘in a series of small fires.’

The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason, that the man had consumed the

cigars in the normal fashion.
The lawyer sued – and WON! (Stay with me.)
Delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous.
The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company, in which it had
warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire,

without defining what is considered to be unacceptable ‘fire’ and was obligated to pay the claim.
Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling,

and paid $15,000 to the lawyer for his loss of the cigars that perished in the ‘fires’.
NOW THE REST OF THE STORY…
After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!!
With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.
This true story won First Place in last year’s Criminal Lawyers Award contest.
ONLY IN AMERICA ……..NO WONDER THE REST OF THE WORLD THINKS WE’RE NUTS!

Alerts to Threats in 2012 Europe

by John Cleese
http://educate-yourself.org/cn/alertstothreats28mar12.shtml
March 28, 2012

Alerts to Threats in 2012 Europe by John Cleese (March 28, 2012) 

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Libya and have therefore raised their security level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.” Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.” The English have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from”Tiresome” to “A Bloody Nuisance.” The last time the British issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from “Pissed Off” to “Let’s get the Bastards.” They don’t have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years. The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from “Run” to “Hide.” The only two higher levels in France are”Collaborate” and “Surrender.” The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France ‘s white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country’s military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from “Shout Loudly and Excitedly” to”Elaborate Military Posturing.” Two more levels remain: “Ineffective Combat Operations” and “Change Sides.” Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels . The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. 

These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy. Australia , meanwhile, has raised its security level from “No worries” to”She’ll be alright, Mate.” Two more escalation levels remain: “Crikey! I think
we’ll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!” and “The barbie is cancelled.” So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.

— John Cleese – British writer, actor and tall person

A final thought: Greece is collapsing, the Iranians are getting aggressive, and Rome is in disarray. Welcome back to 430 BC.

——

Political Correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.

THESE ARE JUST SO BAD…

A] I had my teeth pulled by a Dr McTavish ~ I think I’ve become Scottish by extraction.
B] Is a man outstanding in his field a successful farmer?
C] I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.

D] Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

E] How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

F] I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
G] This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.

H] I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.

I ] I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

J ] They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.

K] PMS jokes aren’t funny; period.
L] Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations
.
M] I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

N] When you get a bladder infection urine trouble.

O] Broken pencils are pointless.
P] I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

Q] What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

R] England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

S] I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

T] I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

U] I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

V] Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
W] Velcro — what a rip off!

X] A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.

Y] Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!
Z] Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.

Police work must be entertaining as well as dangerous.

Recently, a female police officer arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white male, fornicating with a pumpkin in the middle of the night. The next day, at the Gwinnett County (GA) courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency and public intoxication.

The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a drinking session when he decided to stop, ‘You know how a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles or at least I thought there wasn’t anyone around’ he stated.

Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his pressing need. ‘Guess I was really into it, you know?’ he commented with evident embarrassment.
In the process of doing the deed, Lawrence failed to notice an approaching police car and was unaware of his audience until Officer Brenda Taylor approached him.

‘It was an unusual situation, that’s for sure,’ said Officer Taylor. ‘I walked up to Lawrence and he’s just banging away at this pumpkin.’

Officer Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence. ‘I said: ‘Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you’re having sex with a pumpkin??’

He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he looked me straight in the face and said:

‘A pumpkin? Shit … is it midnight already?’

The Washington Post wrote an article describing this as “Best come-back line ever.”

 
” FATHER OF THE YEAR ”
A man boarded a plane with six kids..

After they got settled in their seats a woman sitting across the aisle from him leaned
Over to him and asked, “Are all of those kids yours ? “

He replied, ” No Ma’am, I work for a condom company.
These are customer complaints. “
I WISH I COULD THINK THAT FAST!
 
 

Finally a completely clean joke! Bet you forgot such a thing existed!

The Talking Centipede

A single guy decided life would be more fun
if he had a pet.

So he went to the pet store
and told the owner

that he wanted to buy an unusual pet.

After some discussion,
he finally bought a talking centipede,

(100-legged bug),

which came in a little white box

to use for his house.

He took the box back home,
found a good spot for the box,

and decided he would start off

by taking his new pet

to church with him.

So he asked the centipede

in the box,
“Would you like to go

to church with me today?

We will have a good time.”

But there was no answer
from his new pet.

This bothered him a bit,
but he waited a few minutes

and then asked again,

“How about going

to church with me

and receive blessings?”

But again,
there was no answer

from his new friend and pet.

So he waited

a few minutes more,

thinking about the situation.

The guy decided
to invite the centipede

one last time.

This time he
put his face up against

the centipede ‘ s house and shouted,

“Hey, in there!
Would you like to go

to
church with me

and learn about God?”
…..

YOU ARE GOING TO LOVE THIS ……

This time,
a little voice
came out of the box,


“I heard you the first time!

I ‘m putting my shoes on!”

I have been in many places, but I’ve never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can’t go alone.
You have to be in Cahoots with someone.


I’ve also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there

I have, however, been in Sane. They don’t have an airport; you have to be driven there.. I have made several trips there, thanks to my friends, family and work.

I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I’m not too much on physical activity anymore.

I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit there too often.


I’ve been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.

Sometimes I’m in Capable, and I go there more often as I’m getting older.

One of my favourite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenalin flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my age I need all the stimuli I can get!

I may have been in Continent, and I don’t remember what country I was in. It’s an age thing.


PLEASE DO YOUR PART!
Today is one of the many National Mental Health Days throughout the year.
You can do your bit by remembering to send an e-mail to at least one unstable person.


My job is done!

Life is too short for negative drama & petty things. So laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly!

From one unstable person to another…. I hope everyone is happy in your head – we’re all doing pretty good in mine!

Remembering your age…..I have set this in large print

 
 

Double takes 

 

 

 

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9 July 2012–I’m back!

It has been quite some time since my last post, about 3 months or so. I got caught up with Purim and Pesach and my inbox started growing and I became overwhelmedSick smile.

First, I want to thank all of you who wrote checking that everything is ok, yes, B”H hakol b’seder.

Second, for those of you who might be interested, Ricki and I will be coming to the US late November until right after secular New Year (can’t and won’t stay until Rosh HashanahSmile with tongue out)

 

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Today’s trip to the grocery store
There was a bit of confusion at the store this morning.
When I was ready to pay for my groceries, the cashier said,
“Strip down, facing me.”
Making a mental note to complain to my congressman
about Homeland Security running amok, I did just as she had instructed.
When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided,
I found out that she was referring to my credit card.
I have been asked to shop elsewhere in the future.
They need to make their instructions to us seniors a little clearer!

 

 

The Haircut

One day a
florist went to a barber for a haircut.
After the cut, he asked about his bill,
and the barber replied, ‘I cannot accept money from you,

I’m doing community service this week.’ The florist was pleased
and left the shop.
When the barber went to open his shop the next
morning, there was a ‘thank you’ card and a dozen roses waiting
for him at his door.
Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he
tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, ‘I cannot accept money
from you , I’m doing community service this week.’
The cop was happy and left the shop.
The next morning when the barber went to open up,
there was a ‘thank you’ card and a dozen donuts waiting for
him at his door.
Then a Congressman came in for a haircut, and when he went
to pay his bill, the barber again replied, ‘I cannot accept money from
you. I’m doing community service this week.’ The Congressman was very
happy and left the shop.
The next morning, when the barber went
to open up, there were a dozen Congressmen lined up waiting for a free
haircut.
And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental
difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who
run it.
BOTH POLITICIANS AND DIAPERS NEED TO BE
CHANGED OFTEN AND FOR THE SAME
REASON!

If you don’t forward this you
have no sense of humor.

Nothing bad will happen, however, you must
live with yourself knowing that
laughter is not in your
future.

Now send it to everyone you know.

1. My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory,
imagebut I got canned. Couldn’t concentrate.

2. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the axe.

3. After that, I tried being a Tailor, but wasn’t suited for it mainly because it was a sew-sew job.

4. Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but that was too exhausting.

5. Then, tried being a Chef – figured it would add a little spice to my life, but just didn’t have the thyme.

6. Next, I attempted being a Deli Worker, but any way I sliced it…. couldn’t cut the mustard.



7.
My best job was a Musician,
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but eventually found I wasn’t noteworthy.

8.
I studied a long time to become a Doctor,
but didn’t have any patience.
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9.
Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory.
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Tried hard but just didn’t fit in.


10.
I became a Professional Fisherman,image

but discovered I couldn’t live on my net income.

11. Managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company,

imagebut the work was just too draining.


12. So then I got a job in a Workout Center,image

but they said I wasn’t fit for the job..

13. After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a Historian – until I realized there was no future in it.

14. My last job was working in Starbucks,image

but had to quit because it was the same old grind.

15
. SO, I TRIED RETIREMENT
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AND I FOUND I’M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!
 

A Hamas leader, pleading on Egyptian TV for fuel inadvertently tells the truth about where the “Palestinian” people came from (and it was not from ancient Canaan, surprise surprise). There are Hebrew and English subtitles, please watch it and pass it on.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=CbuM91PeSOs

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Of course, this is an applicable story,
it can be told regarding any leader,
including the Israeli PM…

That’s the truth if it has ever been told!
YOU’VE GOT TO LOVE THIS RANCHER’S

OUTLOOK & COMMON SENSE APPROACH TO LIFE.
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While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75 year old rancher, who’s hand was caught in the gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man…Eventually, the topic got around to Obama and his role as our president.

The old rancher said, “Well, ya know, Obama is a POST TURTLE ”…

Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him, what a ‘post turtle’ was.


The old rancher said, ‘When you’re driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top, that’s a ‘post turtle’.

The old rancher saw the puzzled look on the doctor’s face so he continued to explain.

“You know he didn’t get up there by himself, he doesn’t belong up there, he doesn’t know what to do while he’s up there, he’s elevated beyond his ability to function, and you just wonder what kind of dummy put him up there to begin with.”

   

So good to finally have the answer …… read on.
copy

…. and that, my friends, is why the chicken crossed the road.

Ad in Dr’s office…


I’m sure that you have seen pharmaceutical advertising in doctors’ offices on everything from tissues to note pads. This one should get First prize…

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I e-mailed it to my Japanese doctor friend; he e-mailed back:
“If light stay on more than 4 hour, call erectrician.

(make me raugh out roud!)


21 March 2012

Attacks in Toulouse, France

Dry Bones cartoon: Jewish School, Toulouse, Terrorism, attack, France, neo-nazi, Nazi, Islamism, Islamists, Shuldig,  2012 `
According to World Jewish Daily:

Toulouse Killer Likely Filmed Attack, Executed Little Girl

“A tragic update to a tragic story.

Police now say the killer of four Jews in Toulouse likely filmed the attack with a a camera attached to his chest and methodically stalked his victims, murdering a little girl in cold blood.

According to eyewitness accounts, after the killer entered the Jewish Ozar HaTorah school, he chased after 7-year-old Miriam Monsonego and shot her repeatedly.

He grabbed Miriam as she tried to escape, grasped her hair and shot her. Then, as she bled to death on the floor, he lifted up her head and fired two additional bullets.

The brutality of the crime — which also took the lives of Rabbi Jonathan Sandler, 30, and his two sons, Gabriel, 6, and Arieh, 3, — has led French police to suspect a violent, racist intent behind the attacks.

In a bizarre and macbre development, French police also say the killer seems to have filmed the attacks” -more

-Dry Bones- Israel’s Political Comic Strip Since 1973

Passover Syndrome (1998)

Dry Bones
April 06, 1998

(1998) Dry Bones cartoon: Passover,  Pessach,  Pesah, Holiday, Shuldig, Yom Kippur, over eating, over weight, dieting
Passover is in the air!
Today’s Golden Oldie is from a Pessah back in 1998.

More than 2 weeks to go ’til Seder Night, but, hey, like I said; “Passover is in the air!”

-Dry Bones- Israel’s Political Comic Strip Since 1973

Syrian News

Dry Bones cartoon: Syria, Arab Spring, U.S., Israel, Zionism, Arabs, Assad, Middle East, Media, 2012
According to the Syrian Arab News Agency:

Local, Arab and International Condemnations of Terrorist Bombings Continue

DAMASCUS, (SANA) – March 18,2012
“The International Confederation of Arab Trade Unions (ICATU) on Sunday strongly condemned the two terrorist attacks which hit Damascus yesterday morning, stressing that they are part of targeting the Syrian people and their security, stability and national unity…

. . . . In separate statements, the General Union of Arab Farmers, the Arab Youth Union and Union of the Palestinian Communities and Institutions in Diaspora/Europe condemned Damascus terrorist explosions, which they said will not weaken the Syrians steadfastness, national unity or principled national and pan-Arab stances.

The organizations considered that the two terrorist blasts comes in the framework of the organized terrorism supported by the US, Israel and the reactionary Arab countries,-more

-Dry Bones- Israel’s Political Comic Strip Since 1973

Israeli Spring

Dry Bones cartoon: Israel, Gaza, Spring, Flowers, Missiles, Shuldig, War, Zionism, 2012
Long before the Internet age, Dry Bones was the cartoon of the Jerusalem Post. It was drawn for fellow English-speakers living here in Israel. Sometimes I would do a cartoon to sum up the feeling of our shared Israeli experience, especially at moments that I felt were significant.

I think that here in Israel, we are now at one of those moments, and I indulged myself by doing today’s cartoon. It’s a shared-feeling message from an old Zionist for all the folks here at home as we prepare to enter the Spring of 2012.

-Dry Bones- Israel’s Political Comic Strip Since 1973

“You’re Laughing Now, But Just Wait” (Thanks to AS)

This girl is dressed up as a girl on a mehadrin bus in Jerusalem. Check it out.

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Senior Sex
This is too funny to be dirty – enjoy!

The husband leans over and asks his wife, ‘Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.’

Yes, she says, ‘I remember it well.’

OK,’ he says, ‘How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time’s sake?’

Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!’

A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I’ve got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I’ll just keep an eye on them so there’s no trouble. So h e follows them.

The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.

The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn’t know..

After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I’ve got to ask them what their secret is.

So, as the couple passes, he says to them,’ Excuse me, but that was something else. You must’ve had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?’

Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply,



‘Fifty years ago
that wasn’t an electric fence.

Thanx to CA

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Should I Really Join Facebook ?


A good laugh for people in the over 50 group !!!
AND really quite true!!


When I bought my Blackberry, I thought about the thirty-year business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music, takes videos, pictures, and communicates with Facebook and Twitter. I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook , so my seven kids, their spouses, 13 grandkids and 2 great-grand kids could communicate with me in the modern way. I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.


That was before one of my grandkids hooked me up for Tweeter, Tweetree, Twhirl, Twitterfon, Tweetie and Twittererific Tweetdeck, Twitpix and something that sends every message to my cell phone and every other program within the texting world.


My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.


The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue Tooth [it’s red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife and everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. I had to take my hearing aid out to use it, and I got a little loud.


I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside that gadget was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, “Re-calc-U-lating.” You would think that she could be nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then if I made a right turn instead. Well, it was not a good relationship.
When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy the GPS lady, at least she loves me.


To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven’t figured out how I can lose three phones all at once and have to run around digging under chair cushions and checking bathrooms and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.


The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden “Paper or plastic?” every time I check out just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused, but I never remember to take them in with me.


Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, “Paper or plastic?” I just say, “Doesn’t matter to me. I am bi-sacksual.” Then it’s their turn to stare at me with a blank look. I was recently asked if I tweet. I answered, “No, but I do toot a lot.”


P.S. I know some of you are not over 50 yet. I’m sending this to you to allow you to forward it to those who are and laugh because you haven’t realized you too will be over 50 shortly.

We senior citizens don’t need any more gadgets. The TV remote and the garage door remote are about all we can handle. I’m not even great with the car door opener – seems I always open the trunk when I want to open the door and lock the door when I want to open the trunk. Haven’t figured that one out yet and I’ve had my car for 5 years.
 
Thanx to CS
 

The Darwin Awards are out !Just kidding

Yes, it’s that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards, honoring the least evolved among us, are bestowed,.
Here is the glorious winner:
1. When his .38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
And now, the honorable mentions:
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger.. The chef’s claim was approved.
3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn’t discovered for 3 days.
5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer… $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?]
7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he’d just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, “Yes, officer, that’s her. That’s the lady I stole the purse from.”
9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn’t open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren’t available for breakfast… The frustrated gunman walked away.
[*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]
10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street by sucking on a hose, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home’s sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he’d ever had and the perp had been punished enough!
In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with friends and family….unless of course one of these individuals by chance is a distant relative or long lost friend. In that case, be glad they are distant and hope they remain lost.

Subject: The butler wasn’t Jewish… An oldie but goodie.


A Jewish couple in London won twenty-million pounds in the lottery. They bought a magnificent mansion in Knightsbridge and surrounded themselves with all the material wealth imaginable.

They decided to hire a butler. They found the perfect butler through an agency, very proper and very British, and brought him back to their home.

The day after his arrival, he was instructed to set up the dining table for four, as they were inviting the Cohen’s to lunch. The couple then left the house to do some shopping.

When they returned, they found the table set for eight. Perplexed, they asked the butler why it was set for eight when they had expressly asked him to set it for four.

The butler replied, “The Cohens telephoned and said they were bringing the Blintzes and the Knishes”.

Subject: FW: GRANDMA’S BOYFRIEND……..

A 5-year-old boy went to visit his grandmother one day.

Playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting, he

looked up and said, ‘Grandma, how come you don’t have a boyfriend

now that Grandpa went to heaven?’

Grandma replied, ‘Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can sit in my bedroom

and watch it all day long. The religious programs make me feel good and

the comedies make me laugh …. I’m happy with my TV as my boyfriend.’

Grandma turned on the TV, and the reception was terrible. She started

adjusting the knobs, trying to get the picture in focus. Frustrated, she

started hitting the backside of the TV hoping to fix the problem.

The little boy heard the doorbell ring, so he hurried to open the door

and there stood Grandma’s minister.

The minister said, ‘Hello son, is your Grandma home?’

The little boy replied, ‘Yeah, she’s in the bedroom bangin’ her boyfriend.’

The minister fainted.

Weekly Review: March 19, 2012
Dear Friend of Jerusalem,
Here are the latest headlines from One Jerusalem:

Bloggers Conference Call with Dr, Michael Widlanski: Download MP3 FileDr. Michael Widlanski has written an important book on how our media, academic, and security elites often miss the threat from radical Islam. Battle for our Minds: Western Elites and The Terror Threat should be read by… (read more)

When Does The World Herald an Ex-Mossad Chief?: When he appears to be more pacifist than the government of Israel. So Meir Dagan, who has been reviled by the left-wing media for being too aggressive in defending the State of Israel, is now a guest on 60 Minutes… (read more)

Sincerely, The One Jerusalem Team

PMW

Bulletin

March 18, 2012

 
PA TV mimics Jewish tradition:
Imitates Psalms 137:5
“If I forget thee, oh Jerusalem”
Itamar Marcus and Nan Jacques Zilberdik

Official Palestinian Authority TV has produced and broadcast a music video imitating the Jewish tradition regarding Jerusalem, mimicking the Biblical expression “If I forget thee, oh Jerusalem, may my right hand forget its skill, may my tongue cling to the roof of my mouth, if I do not remember thee” [Psalms 137:5]. This verse from the Book of Psalms expresses Jewish longing for Jerusalem after its destruction and the Jewish exile.

The song broadcast on PA TV and performed by an Egyptian singer includes scenes from the markets in the old city in Jerusalem, Arab children playing, the Al-Aqsa Mosque, the Dome of the Rock and the Church of the Holy Sepulchre, blended with scenes of riots, stone-throwing, and clashes with Israeli soldiers in Jerusalem. No Jewish holy sites or landmarks are shown and the only Israelis seen are soldiers.

The song, which mimics the Jewish longing for Jerusalem described in the Bible, includes the following lyrics:

“May my right arm forget me, may my left arm forget me.
May the light of my eyes and the openings of songs forget me, if I forget Jerusalem.” (See full lyrics below)

Click to view

Since the Palestinian Authority was established under the Oslo Accords in 1993, the PA has undertaken a rewriting of history which includes the misappropriation of Jewish history, artifacts, traditions, texts, as if they had a Palestinian historical connection. Palestinian Media Watch has documented a number of examples of the PA mimicking and expropriating Jewish tradition, while claiming Jewish history to be a falsification of the “authentic ancient Palestinian” history.

Last week, Palestinian Media Watch reported on the PA’s misrepresention of Hebrew coins minted in 66 CE, four years prior to the destruction of Jerusalem and the Temple by Rome, as Palestinian coins.

The Palestinian claim that Jerusalem has been the “capital” of a “state of Palestine” is another example of this misrepresentation. While historically there never was a Palestinian state and Jerusalem never was an Arab or Muslim capital, the PA Minister of Religious Affairs Mahmoud Al-Habbash warned in a Friday sermon that “unless Jerusalem will be Palestinian, as it was throughout history, the capital of the Palestinian statethere is no peace.”

The purpose of the current PA TV song may be to generate Palestinian feelings for “ancient Palestinian roots” in Jerusalem while denying Jewish history there. PMW reported on a PA TV broadcast of an interview with a Palestinian historian who told the audience that the term “If I forget thee, oh Jerusalem” was not from the Bible, but was a crusader term misappropriated by modern Zionism to falsify a Jewish connection to Jerusalem.

Another video broadcast by PA TV last week also denied Jewish history in the land, claiming it as Palestinian. The video showed “Palestine” symbolized by a woman in white, fleeing three different foreign rulers through history – the Romans, the Crusaders, and the British, and finally being liberated from Jewish-Israeli rule by a new Muslim “Saladin” conqueror.

The following are the words of the song produced and broadcast by PA TV:

“May my right arm forget me, may my left arm forget me.
May the light of my eyes and the openings of songs forget me, if I forget Jerusalem.
May the joy in my eyes and the green world, forget me.
May every heart forget me.
May the smile of an infant forget me, if I forget Jerusalem.
May my joys forget me, may my morning forget me.
May the suns forget me and may people deny me,
[with] the stars, the moon, the rain and the trees.
May the streets and the houses forget me.
May I wilt, may I wilt and die if I forget Jerusalem.
May the joy of the day, the shadow of the houses, the sound of strings forget me,
and the laughter of every neighbor, if I forget Jerusalem.
May the smiles of children and the expectation of a meeting forget me,
the joy of a birth and the gates of the entire city,
if I forget Jerusalem.”

Text on screen at the end of the video: “Produced by PA TV, 2010”

[PA TV (Fatah), Feb. 25 and March 11, 2012]

Ides of (15) March 2012

I saw and heard Prof Kedar speak last night, you MUST watch this

Dedicated Drunk

A Highway Patrolman waited outside a popular local bar, hoping for a bust. At closing time, as everyone come out he spotted his potential quarry.

The man was so obviously inebriated that he could barely walk. He stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes, looking for his car. After trying his keys on five other cars, he finally found his own vehicle.

He sat in the car a good ten minutes, as the other patrons left. He turned his lights on, then off, wipers on, then off. He started to pull forward into the grass, then stopped. Finally, when he was the last car, he pulled out onto the road and started to drive away.

The patrolman, waiting for this, turned on his lights and pulled the man over. He administered the breathalyzer test, and to his great surprise, the man blew a 0.00.

The patrolman was dumbfounded. “This equipment must be broken!” exclaimed the patrolman.

“I doubt it,” said the man, “Tonight I’m the designated decoy!!!”

* * * * * * * * * *

From the Cock Pit

Shortly after a British Airways flight had reached its cruising altitude, the Captain announced:

‘Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captain. Welcome to Flight 293, non-stop from London Heathrow to Toronto. The weather ahead is good, so we should have a smooth, uneventful flight. So sit back,relax and….. OH, MY GOD !’

Silence followed!

Some moments later the Captain came back on the PA;
‘Ladies and gentlemen, I’m sorry if I scared you . While I was talking to you, a flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!’

One old Jewish passenger yelled, ‘oiy vey’ you should see the back of mine! ‘

* * * * * * * * * *

Earl and Bubba are quietly sitting in a boat fishing, chewing tobacco and drinking beer when suddenly Bubba says, “Think I’m gonna divorce the wife – she ain’t spoke to me in over 2 months.”

Earl spits overboard, takes a long, slow sip of beer and says, “Better think it over………….women like that are hard to find.”

* * * * * * * * * *

* * Slightly Blue Joke * *

A man walked into the women’s department of Macy’s in New York City. He found a saleslady, and told her, “I would like a Jewish bra for my wife, size 34B.”

With a quizzical look the saleslady asked, “What kind of bra?”

He repeated “A Jewish bra. She said to tell you that she wanted a Jewish bra, and that you would know “what she means.”

“Ah, now I remember,” said the saleslady. “We don’t get as many requests for them as we used to. Mostly our customers lately want the Catholic bra, or the Salvation Army bra, or the Presbyterian bra.”

Confused, and a little flustered, the man asked, “So, what are the differences?”

The saleslady responded “It is all really quite simple. The Catholic bra supports the masses. The Salvation Army bra lifts up the fallen, and the Presbyterian bra keeps them staunch and upright.”

He mused on that information for a minute, and asked, “So, what does the Jewish bra do?”

“The Jewish bra,” she replied, “makes mountains out of molehills.”

* * * * * * * * * *

A Joke with a Moral

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she’d like to have for her birthday.

‘I’d like to be six again’, she replied, still looking in the mirror .

On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Roller Coaster, everything there was.

Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. He then took her to a Hamburger Stand where he ordered her a Kiddie Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.

Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy. What a fabulous adventure!

Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted.

He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, ‘Well Dear, what was it like being six again?’

Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.

‘I meant my dress size, you retard!!!!’

The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is going to get it wrong.

* * * * * * * * * *

With the Girl on the Plane

A Congressman was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when he turned to her and said, ‘Let’s talk. I’ve heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.’

The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the total stranger, ‘What would you like to talk about?’

‘Oh, I don’t know,’ said the congressman. ‘How about global warming or universal health care’, and he smiles smugly.

OK, ‘ she said. ‘Those could be interesting topics. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff – grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?’

The legislator, visibly surprised by the little girl’s intelligence, thinks about it and says, ‘Hmmm, I have no idea.’

To which the little girl replies, ‘Do you really feel qualified to discuss global warming or universal health care when you don’t know shit?

As the celebration of the Exodus Approaches (i.e. Passover) I think you’ll love this!

News Coverage (1982)

Dry Bones
March 08, 1982

(1982) Dry Bones cartoon: West Bank, Palestinians, Judea, Samaria, Jews, Settlers, demonstrations, Double Standard, Media, Bias, 1982, America, Israel,
Today’s Golden Oldie is from 30 years ago this month, in March 1982.

Another old Dry Bones cartoon that could be run today without any changes.

-Dry Bones- Israel’s Political Comic Strip Since 1973

Flowers and Evil

Dry Bones cartoon: Spring, Flowers. Missiles, Gaza,  Hamas, Terrorism,
I was watching the Israel TV reports from the south where Israeli men women and children have been living with missile attacks from Gaza.

I couldn’t help but notice in the news footage the beautiful wild flowers that were blooming. I couldn’t take my eyes off of them.

When I sat down to do today’s cartoon, this is what came out. It’s either funny or bitter, or possibly both.

-Dry Bones- Israel’s Political Comic Strip Since 1973