21 March 2012

Attacks in Toulouse, France

Dry Bones cartoon: Jewish School, Toulouse, Terrorism, attack, France, neo-nazi, Nazi, Islamism, Islamists, Shuldig,  2012 `
According to World Jewish Daily:

Toulouse Killer Likely Filmed Attack, Executed Little Girl

“A tragic update to a tragic story.

Police now say the killer of four Jews in Toulouse likely filmed the attack with a a camera attached to his chest and methodically stalked his victims, murdering a little girl in cold blood.

According to eyewitness accounts, after the killer entered the Jewish Ozar HaTorah school, he chased after 7-year-old Miriam Monsonego and shot her repeatedly.

He grabbed Miriam as she tried to escape, grasped her hair and shot her. Then, as she bled to death on the floor, he lifted up her head and fired two additional bullets.

The brutality of the crime — which also took the lives of Rabbi Jonathan Sandler, 30, and his two sons, Gabriel, 6, and Arieh, 3, — has led French police to suspect a violent, racist intent behind the attacks.

In a bizarre and macbre development, French police also say the killer seems to have filmed the attacks” -more

-Dry Bones- Israel’s Political Comic Strip Since 1973

Passover Syndrome (1998)

Dry Bones
April 06, 1998

(1998) Dry Bones cartoon: Passover,  Pessach,  Pesah, Holiday, Shuldig, Yom Kippur, over eating, over weight, dieting
Passover is in the air!
Today’s Golden Oldie is from a Pessah back in 1998.

More than 2 weeks to go ’til Seder Night, but, hey, like I said; “Passover is in the air!”

-Dry Bones- Israel’s Political Comic Strip Since 1973

Syrian News

Dry Bones cartoon: Syria, Arab Spring, U.S., Israel, Zionism, Arabs, Assad, Middle East, Media, 2012
According to the Syrian Arab News Agency:

Local, Arab and International Condemnations of Terrorist Bombings Continue

DAMASCUS, (SANA) – March 18,2012
“The International Confederation of Arab Trade Unions (ICATU) on Sunday strongly condemned the two terrorist attacks which hit Damascus yesterday morning, stressing that they are part of targeting the Syrian people and their security, stability and national unity…

. . . . In separate statements, the General Union of Arab Farmers, the Arab Youth Union and Union of the Palestinian Communities and Institutions in Diaspora/Europe condemned Damascus terrorist explosions, which they said will not weaken the Syrians steadfastness, national unity or principled national and pan-Arab stances.

The organizations considered that the two terrorist blasts comes in the framework of the organized terrorism supported by the US, Israel and the reactionary Arab countries,-more

-Dry Bones- Israel’s Political Comic Strip Since 1973

Israeli Spring

Dry Bones cartoon: Israel, Gaza, Spring, Flowers, Missiles, Shuldig, War, Zionism, 2012
Long before the Internet age, Dry Bones was the cartoon of the Jerusalem Post. It was drawn for fellow English-speakers living here in Israel. Sometimes I would do a cartoon to sum up the feeling of our shared Israeli experience, especially at moments that I felt were significant.

I think that here in Israel, we are now at one of those moments, and I indulged myself by doing today’s cartoon. It’s a shared-feeling message from an old Zionist for all the folks here at home as we prepare to enter the Spring of 2012.

-Dry Bones- Israel’s Political Comic Strip Since 1973

“You’re Laughing Now, But Just Wait” (Thanks to AS)

This girl is dressed up as a girl on a mehadrin bus in Jerusalem. Check it out.

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Senior Sex
This is too funny to be dirty – enjoy!

The husband leans over and asks his wife, ‘Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.’

Yes, she says, ‘I remember it well.’

OK,’ he says, ‘How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time’s sake?’

Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!’

A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I’ve got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I’ll just keep an eye on them so there’s no trouble. So h e follows them.

The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.

The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn’t know..

After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I’ve got to ask them what their secret is.

So, as the couple passes, he says to them,’ Excuse me, but that was something else. You must’ve had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?’

Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply,



‘Fifty years ago
that wasn’t an electric fence.

Thanx to CA

image

Should I Really Join Facebook ?


A good laugh for people in the over 50 group !!!
AND really quite true!!


When I bought my Blackberry, I thought about the thirty-year business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music, takes videos, pictures, and communicates with Facebook and Twitter. I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook , so my seven kids, their spouses, 13 grandkids and 2 great-grand kids could communicate with me in the modern way. I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.


That was before one of my grandkids hooked me up for Tweeter, Tweetree, Twhirl, Twitterfon, Tweetie and Twittererific Tweetdeck, Twitpix and something that sends every message to my cell phone and every other program within the texting world.


My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.


The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue Tooth [it’s red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife and everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. I had to take my hearing aid out to use it, and I got a little loud.


I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside that gadget was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, “Re-calc-U-lating.” You would think that she could be nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then if I made a right turn instead. Well, it was not a good relationship.
When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy the GPS lady, at least she loves me.


To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven’t figured out how I can lose three phones all at once and have to run around digging under chair cushions and checking bathrooms and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.


The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden “Paper or plastic?” every time I check out just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused, but I never remember to take them in with me.


Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, “Paper or plastic?” I just say, “Doesn’t matter to me. I am bi-sacksual.” Then it’s their turn to stare at me with a blank look. I was recently asked if I tweet. I answered, “No, but I do toot a lot.”


P.S. I know some of you are not over 50 yet. I’m sending this to you to allow you to forward it to those who are and laugh because you haven’t realized you too will be over 50 shortly.

We senior citizens don’t need any more gadgets. The TV remote and the garage door remote are about all we can handle. I’m not even great with the car door opener – seems I always open the trunk when I want to open the door and lock the door when I want to open the trunk. Haven’t figured that one out yet and I’ve had my car for 5 years.
 
Thanx to CS
 

The Darwin Awards are out !Just kidding

Yes, it’s that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards, honoring the least evolved among us, are bestowed,.
Here is the glorious winner:
1. When his .38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.
And now, the honorable mentions:
2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger.. The chef’s claim was approved.
3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.
4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn’t discovered for 3 days.
5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer… $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?]
7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he’d just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.
8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, “Yes, officer, that’s her. That’s the lady I stole the purse from.”
9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn’t open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren’t available for breakfast… The frustrated gunman walked away.
[*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]
10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street by sucking on a hose, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home’s sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he’d ever had and the perp had been punished enough!
In the interest of bettering mankind, please share these with friends and family….unless of course one of these individuals by chance is a distant relative or long lost friend. In that case, be glad they are distant and hope they remain lost.

Subject: The butler wasn’t Jewish… An oldie but goodie.


A Jewish couple in London won twenty-million pounds in the lottery. They bought a magnificent mansion in Knightsbridge and surrounded themselves with all the material wealth imaginable.

They decided to hire a butler. They found the perfect butler through an agency, very proper and very British, and brought him back to their home.

The day after his arrival, he was instructed to set up the dining table for four, as they were inviting the Cohen’s to lunch. The couple then left the house to do some shopping.

When they returned, they found the table set for eight. Perplexed, they asked the butler why it was set for eight when they had expressly asked him to set it for four.

The butler replied, “The Cohens telephoned and said they were bringing the Blintzes and the Knishes”.

Subject: FW: GRANDMA’S BOYFRIEND……..

A 5-year-old boy went to visit his grandmother one day.

Playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting, he

looked up and said, ‘Grandma, how come you don’t have a boyfriend

now that Grandpa went to heaven?’

Grandma replied, ‘Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can sit in my bedroom

and watch it all day long. The religious programs make me feel good and

the comedies make me laugh …. I’m happy with my TV as my boyfriend.’

Grandma turned on the TV, and the reception was terrible. She started

adjusting the knobs, trying to get the picture in focus. Frustrated, she

started hitting the backside of the TV hoping to fix the problem.

The little boy heard the doorbell ring, so he hurried to open the door

and there stood Grandma’s minister.

The minister said, ‘Hello son, is your Grandma home?’

The little boy replied, ‘Yeah, she’s in the bedroom bangin’ her boyfriend.’

The minister fainted.

Weekly Review: March 19, 2012
Dear Friend of Jerusalem,
Here are the latest headlines from One Jerusalem:

Bloggers Conference Call with Dr, Michael Widlanski: Download MP3 FileDr. Michael Widlanski has written an important book on how our media, academic, and security elites often miss the threat from radical Islam. Battle for our Minds: Western Elites and The Terror Threat should be read by… (read more)

When Does The World Herald an Ex-Mossad Chief?: When he appears to be more pacifist than the government of Israel. So Meir Dagan, who has been reviled by the left-wing media for being too aggressive in defending the State of Israel, is now a guest on 60 Minutes… (read more)

Sincerely, The One Jerusalem Team

PMW

Bulletin

March 18, 2012

 
PA TV mimics Jewish tradition:
Imitates Psalms 137:5
“If I forget thee, oh Jerusalem”
Itamar Marcus and Nan Jacques Zilberdik

Official Palestinian Authority TV has produced and broadcast a music video imitating the Jewish tradition regarding Jerusalem, mimicking the Biblical expression “If I forget thee, oh Jerusalem, may my right hand forget its skill, may my tongue cling to the roof of my mouth, if I do not remember thee” [Psalms 137:5]. This verse from the Book of Psalms expresses Jewish longing for Jerusalem after its destruction and the Jewish exile.

The song broadcast on PA TV and performed by an Egyptian singer includes scenes from the markets in the old city in Jerusalem, Arab children playing, the Al-Aqsa Mosque, the Dome of the Rock and the Church of the Holy Sepulchre, blended with scenes of riots, stone-throwing, and clashes with Israeli soldiers in Jerusalem. No Jewish holy sites or landmarks are shown and the only Israelis seen are soldiers.

The song, which mimics the Jewish longing for Jerusalem described in the Bible, includes the following lyrics:

“May my right arm forget me, may my left arm forget me.
May the light of my eyes and the openings of songs forget me, if I forget Jerusalem.” (See full lyrics below)

Click to view

Since the Palestinian Authority was established under the Oslo Accords in 1993, the PA has undertaken a rewriting of history which includes the misappropriation of Jewish history, artifacts, traditions, texts, as if they had a Palestinian historical connection. Palestinian Media Watch has documented a number of examples of the PA mimicking and expropriating Jewish tradition, while claiming Jewish history to be a falsification of the “authentic ancient Palestinian” history.

Last week, Palestinian Media Watch reported on the PA’s misrepresention of Hebrew coins minted in 66 CE, four years prior to the destruction of Jerusalem and the Temple by Rome, as Palestinian coins.

The Palestinian claim that Jerusalem has been the “capital” of a “state of Palestine” is another example of this misrepresentation. While historically there never was a Palestinian state and Jerusalem never was an Arab or Muslim capital, the PA Minister of Religious Affairs Mahmoud Al-Habbash warned in a Friday sermon that “unless Jerusalem will be Palestinian, as it was throughout history, the capital of the Palestinian statethere is no peace.”

The purpose of the current PA TV song may be to generate Palestinian feelings for “ancient Palestinian roots” in Jerusalem while denying Jewish history there. PMW reported on a PA TV broadcast of an interview with a Palestinian historian who told the audience that the term “If I forget thee, oh Jerusalem” was not from the Bible, but was a crusader term misappropriated by modern Zionism to falsify a Jewish connection to Jerusalem.

Another video broadcast by PA TV last week also denied Jewish history in the land, claiming it as Palestinian. The video showed “Palestine” symbolized by a woman in white, fleeing three different foreign rulers through history – the Romans, the Crusaders, and the British, and finally being liberated from Jewish-Israeli rule by a new Muslim “Saladin” conqueror.

The following are the words of the song produced and broadcast by PA TV:

“May my right arm forget me, may my left arm forget me.
May the light of my eyes and the openings of songs forget me, if I forget Jerusalem.
May the joy in my eyes and the green world, forget me.
May every heart forget me.
May the smile of an infant forget me, if I forget Jerusalem.
May my joys forget me, may my morning forget me.
May the suns forget me and may people deny me,
[with] the stars, the moon, the rain and the trees.
May the streets and the houses forget me.
May I wilt, may I wilt and die if I forget Jerusalem.
May the joy of the day, the shadow of the houses, the sound of strings forget me,
and the laughter of every neighbor, if I forget Jerusalem.
May the smiles of children and the expectation of a meeting forget me,
the joy of a birth and the gates of the entire city,
if I forget Jerusalem.”

Text on screen at the end of the video: “Produced by PA TV, 2010”

[PA TV (Fatah), Feb. 25 and March 11, 2012]
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