23 February 2012

Halachic Innovation for my Haredi readers (are there any out there?)

“Post-Seminary Girls” But NOT MMY

No translation needed

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Learn to trust your husband
There comes a time when a woman just has to trust her husband… for example…
A wife comes home late one night, arriving early from being out of town and quietly opens the door to her bedroom.
From under the blanket she sees four legs instead of two.
She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can.
Once she’s done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink.
As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine.
“Hi Darling”, he says, “Your parents have come to visit us, so l let them stay in our bedroom.
 
Current Generation
 
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Doing Well By Doing Good
William R. Brody
 
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Excerpted from a speech delivered by Mr. Brody to the graduating class of John Hopkins University on May 26, 2005.

There is a man who I’d like to tell you about. His name is Sandy Greenberg. In his youth, Sandy was a very good student, but he came from a poor family. And so he went to Columbia University on a scholarship and there he met his roommate who also was receiving financial aid.

Now while he was a sophomore at Columbia University, Sandy contracted an eye disease that eventually proved to be glaucoma. But the trouble was, it wasn’t detected early enough, and as a result he became legally blind. I ask you all to imagine for a moment having been sighted all your life, and then all of a sudden being faced, in a very competitive school, with losing so much sight you could no longer read. This is what happened to Sandy Greenberg.

But something else happened to Sandy that may surprise you. Sandy said that when he lost his sight, his roommate would read his textbooks to him, every night.

So I’m going to put you in that position, in a competitive school like Columbia, or Johns Hopkins. If your roommate had a serious disability, would you take the time to read textbooks to him every night, knowing the more you spend time reading textbooks to your roommate, perhaps the less well you might do with your other activities? That’s not as easy a question as it first appears.

But luckily for Sandy, his roommate did. And as a result, Sandy went on to graduate with honors. He got a Fulbright Scholarship, and he went off to study at Oxford. He was still quite poor, but he said he had managed to save about five hundred dollars as he went along.

His roommate, meanwhile, also went on to graduate school. One day, Sandy got a call from him at Oxford. And his former roommate said, “Sandy I’m really unhappy. I really don’t like being in graduate school, and I don’t want to do this.”

So Sandy asked, “Well what do you want to do?”

And his roommate told him, “Sandy, I really love to sing. I have a high school friend who plays the guitar. And we would really like to try our hand in the music business. But we need to make a promo record, and in order to do that I need $500.”

So Sandy Greenberg told me he took all his life savings and sent it to his roommate. He told me, “You know, what else could I do? He made my life; I needed to help make his life.”

So, I hope you’ll remember the power of doing well by doing good. Each of you, in your own lives, will be faced with challenges, with roadblocks, with problems that you didn’t anticipate or expect. How you are able to deal with adversity will be influenced, to no small extent, by how you deal with others along the way. What you get will depend a lot on what you give. And that’s the end of the story of doing well, by doing good.

Ah! I almost forgot. You probably are wanting to know who Sandy’s roommate was. I think you’ve heard of him. Sandy’s roommate was a fellow by the name of Art Garfunkel, and he teamed up with another musician by the name of Paul Simon. That $500 helped them cut a record that eventually became “The Sounds of Silence.” Recently, we had the pleasure of going to Sandy’s daughter’s wedding, and it was Art Garfunkel who sang as Sandy walked his daughter down the aisle.

When you get to be my age (which, for some of you, is really old, (though it doesn’t seem so old to me anymore), you will find yourself beginning to ask, did my life make a difference?

That’s the day of personal reckoning. And I think the only way to face it is to consider, every day of your life: How can I do something for somebody else? How can I give back to others? It may be teaching, it may be becoming a doctor, you may be successful in business – no matter what your career path, there will always be the opportunity to give back. The chance will present itself to be giving of your time, giving of your money, but mostly, to be giving of yourselves, of your own heart and soul.

My hope today, as you commence to new beginnings, is you will always keep your eyes open for those opportunities to give and embrace them as your best sure way of doing well.

Delta also breaks guitars
Where did “piss poor” come from ?

Us older people need to learn something new every day…
Just to keep the grey matter tuned up.
Where did “Piss Poor” come from?
Interesting History.
They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot.
And then once it was full it was taken and sold to the tannery…
if you had to do this to survive you were “Piss Poor”.
But worse than that were the really poor folk who couldn’t even afford to buy a pot…
They “didn’t have a pot to piss in” and were the lowest of the low.
The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature
Isn’t just how you like it, think about how things used to be.
Here are some facts about the 1500’s
Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May,
And they still smelled pretty good by June. However, since they were starting to smell,
Brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor.
Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.
Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water.
The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water,
Then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children.
Last of all the babies.
By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it.
Hence the saying, “Don’t throw the baby out with the Bath water!”
Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath.
It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals
(mice, bugs) lived in the roof.
When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof.
Hence the saying, “It’s raining cats and dogs.”
There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house.
This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings
Could mess up your nice clean bed.
Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection.
That’s how canopy beds came into existence.
The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt.
Hence the saying, “Dirt poor.” The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery
In the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on the floor to help keep their footing.
As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door,
It would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entrance-way.
Hence: a thresh hold.
(Getting quite an education, aren’t you?)
In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire.
Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables
And did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers
In the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day.
Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while.
Hence the rhyme:
“Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old”.
Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special.
When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off.
It was a sign of wealth that a man could, “bring home the bacon.”
They would cut off a little to share with guests
And would all sit around and chew the fat.
Those with money had plates made of pewter.
Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death.
This happened most often with tomatoes,
so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.
Bread was divided according to status.
Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle,
and guests got the top, or the upper crust.
Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky.
The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days.
Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial.
They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around
and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up.
Hence the custom; “of holding a wake”.
England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people.
So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave..
When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive.
So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell.
Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the graveyard shift) to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be,
“saved by the bell” or was “considered a dead ringer”.
And that’s the truth.
Now, whoever said History was boring!!!
So get out there and educate someone! ~~~
Share these facts with a friend.
Inside every older person is a younger person wondering,
‘What the heck happened?’
We’ll be friends until we are old and senile.
Then we’ll be new friends.
Smile, it gives your face something to do!

If you ever feel a little bit stupid, just dig this up and read it again; you’ll begin to think you’re a genius.

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(On September 17, 1994, Alabama’s Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.)

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?

Answer: “I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,”

–Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.

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“Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean I’d love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.”

–Mariah Carey

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“Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life,”

— Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign

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“I’ve never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,”

–Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.

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“Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,”

–Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC . ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

 

“That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I’m just the one to do it,”

–A congressional candidate in Texas .

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“Half this game is ninety percent mental.”

–Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

MY PERSONAL FAVORITE!

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“It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment. It’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it..”

–Al Gore, Vice President

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“I love California . I practically grew up in Phoenix .”

— Dan Quayle

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“We’ve got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?”

–Lee Iacocca

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“The word “genius” isn’t applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.”

–Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.

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“We don’t necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people.”

— Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.

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“Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances.”

–Department of Social Services, Greenville , South Carolina

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“Traditionally, most of Australia ‘s imports come from overseas.”

–Keppel Enderbery

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“If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there’ll be a record.”

–Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman

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Feeling smarter yet?

Send it on to
your brilliant friends.

 

I just did !!

A Conversation With Hashem…
Me (in a tizzy) : Hashem, can I ask you something?
HASHEM: Sure.
Me: Promise you won’t get mad?
HASHEM: I promise.
Me (frustrated): Why did you let so much stuff happen to me today?
HASHEM: What do you mean?
Me: Well I woke up late,
HASHEM: Yes
Me: My car took forever to start,
HASHEM: Okay….
Me (growling): At lunch, they made my sandwich wrong and I had to wait
HASHEM: Hmmmm..
Me: On the way home, my phone went dead, just as I picked up a call
HASHEM: All right
Me (loudly): And to top it all off, when I got home, I just wanted to soak my feet in my foot massager and relax, but it wouldn’t work. Nothing went right today! Why did you do that?
HASHEM: Well let me see….. the death angel was at your bed this morning and I had to send one of the other angels to battle him for your life. I let you sleep through that.
Me (humbled): Oh…
HASHEM: I didn’t let your car start because there was a drunk driver on your route that might have hit you if you were on the road
Me (ashamed): …………
HASHEM: The first person who made your sandwich today was sick and I didn’t want you to catch what they have, I knew you couldn’t afford to miss work
Me (embarrassed): Oh…..
HASHEM: Your phone went dead because the person that was calling was going to give a false witness about what you said on that call, I didn’t even let you talk to them so you would be covered
Me (softly): I see Hashem
HASHEM: Oh and that foot massager, it had a short that was going to throw out all of the power in your house tonight. I didn’t think you wanted to be in the dark.
Me: I’m sorry Hashem.
HASHEM: Don’t be sorry, just learn to trust me………in all things, the good and the bad
Me: I WILL trust you Hashem
HASHEM: And don’t doubt that my plan for your day is always better than your plan
Me: I won’t Hashem. And let me just tell you Hashem, thank you for everything today.
HASHEM: You’re welcome child. It was just another day being your Hashem and I love looking after my children.
Subject: GARDEN SNAKES CAN BE DANGEROUS…
Is there a Rube Goldberg in the house???
Snakes also known as Garter Snakes (Thamnophissirtalis) can be
dangerous. Yes, grass snakes, not rattlesnakes. Here’s why.

A couple in Sweetwater , Texas , had a lot of potted plants. During a
recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to
protect them from a possible freeze.

It turned out that a little green garden grass snake was hidden in one
of the plants. When it had warmed up, it slithered out and the wife saw
it go under the sofa.

She let out a very loud scream.

The husband (who was taking a shower) ran out into the living room naked
to see what the problem was. She told him there was a snake under the
sofa.

He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it. About
that time the family dog came and cold-nosed him on the behind. He
thought the snake had bitten him, so he screamed and fell over on the
floor.

His wife thought he had had a heart attack, so she covered him up, told
him to lie still and called an ambulance.

The attendants rushed in, would not listen to his protests, loaded him
on the stretcher, and started carrying him out.

About that time, the snake came out from under the sofa and the
Emergency Medical Technician saw it and dropped his end of the
stretcher. That’s when the man broke his leg and why he is still in the
hospital.

The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she called
on a neighbor who volunteered to capture the snake. He armed himself
with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch.. Soon he
decided it was gone and told the woman, who sat down on the sofa in
relief.

But while relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushions, where she
felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted, the snake
rushed back under the sofa.

The neighbor man, seeing her lying there passed out, tried to use CPR to
revive her.

The neighbor’s wife, who had just returned from shopping at the grocery
store, saw her husband’s mouth on the woman’s mouth and slammed her
husband in the back of the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking him
out and cutting his scalp to a point where it needed stitches.

The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her neighbor
lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she assumed that
the snake had bitten him. She went to the kitchen and got a small bottle
of whiskey, and began pouring it down the man’s throat.

By now, the police had arrived.
Breathe here…

They saw the unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed that a
drunken fight had occurred. They were about to arrest them all, when the
women tried to explain how it all happened over a little garden snake!

The police called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor and his
sobbing wife.

Now, the little snake again crawled out from under the sofa and one of
the policemen drew his gun and fired at it. He missed the snake and hit
the leg of the end table. The table fell over, the lamp on it shattered
and, as the bulb broke, it started a fire in the drapes.

The other policeman tried to beat out the flames, and fell through the
window into the yard on top of the family dog who, startled, jumped out
and raced into the street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid it and
smashed into the parked police car.

Meanwhile, neighbors saw the burning drapes and called in the fire
department. The firemen had started raising the fire ladder when they
were halfway down the street. The rising ladder tore out the overhead
wires, put out the power, and disconnected the telephones in a
ten-square city block area (but they did get the house fire out).

Time passed! Both men were discharged from the hospital, the house was
repaired, the dog came home, the police acquired a new car and all was
right with their world.

A while later they were watching TV and the weatherman announced a cold
snap for that night. The wife asked her husband if he thought they
should bring in their plants for the night.

And that’s when he shot her.

“You Don’t Look Jewish” I think she is worth listening to!

Girlfriends Lunch Date


OMG!! Very depressing and funny!

Lunch with the girls through the ages
A group of 15-year-old girlfriends discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally, they agreed to meet at the Dairy Queen next to the Ocean View restaurant because they had only $6.00 among them, and the cute boy in Social Studies, lived on that street.

10 years later, the group of 25-year-old girlfriends discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally, they agreed to meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the beer was cheap, the restaurant offered free snacks, the band was good, there was no cover and there were lots of cute guys.

10 years later, the group of 35-year-old girlfriends discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally, they agreed to meet at the Ocean View restaurant. It was right near the gym and, if they went late enough, there wouldn’t be too many whiny little kids.

10 years later, the group of 45-year-old girlfriends discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally, they agreed to meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the martinis were big and the waiters were flirtatious.

10 years later, the group of 55-year-old girlfriends discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally, they agreed to meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the prices were reasonable, the wine list was good, the restaurant had windows that opened (in case of hot flashes), and fish is good for cholesterol.

10 years later, the group of 65-year-old girlfriends discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally, they agreed to meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the lighting was good and the restaurant had an early bird special.

10 years later, the group of 75-year-old girlfriends discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally, they agreed to meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the food was not too spicy and the restaurant was handicapped-accessible.

10 years later, the group of 85-year-old girlfriends discussed where to meet for dinner. Finally, they agreed to meet at the Ocean View restaurant because they had never been there before.

Terrorists and Virgins

Anti-Israel Prop

A single glass at night could mean a peaceful, uninterrupted nights sleep.

NEW Wine for Seniors
I kid you not…

image
California vintners in the

Napa Valley area,
which primarily produce

Pinot Blanc, Pinot Noir, and Pinot
Grigio wines,

have developed a new hybrid grape

that acts as an anti-diuretic.


It is expected to reduce the number of trips

older people have to make to the
bathroom during the night.

The new wine will be
marketed as

image

PINO MORE
image

 

These are sentences exactly as typed by medical secretaries in NHS Greater Glasgow

1. The patient has no previous history of suicide.



2. Patient has left her white blood cells at another hospital.



3. Patient’s medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.



4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.



5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.



6. On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it disappeared.



7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.



8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.



9. Discharge status: Alive, but without my permission.



10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert, but forgetful.



11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.



12. She is numb from her toes down.



13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.



14. The skin was moist and dry.



15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.



16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.



17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.



18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until she got a divorce.



19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our care for physical therapy.



20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.



21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.



22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.



23. Skin: somewhat pale, but present.



24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.



25. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.



26. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.


27. When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.



28. The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of fuel and crashed.



29. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.



30. She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.



31. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Smith, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.



32. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stock broker instead.



33. By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better.

 

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394053_271310099606121_208877045849427_645486_1132653004_n

He almost looks like him and has his mannerisms down pat, happily he will be out of a job in less than a year.

Pivotal Events (1977)

November 18, 1977

(1977) Currency, Sadat, Peace, Jerusalem, LSD, drugs, Egypt,
Today’s Golden Oldie is from 1977. Thirty five years ago!

The words of the Bob Dylan song rang in our ears; “The times they are a-changin!” Our economy was being freed and Anwar Sadat was about to open the door to real peace with Egypt. The dream was about to become real.

* * *

So thirty five years have passed and peace and normalcy with the people and nation of Egypt is a dream that never really blossomed and seems about to die. Sad.

-Dry Bones- Israel’s Political Comic Strip Since 1973

Poker

Dry Bones cartoon: Egypt, Arab Spring, Arabs, Iraq, Syria, Libya, Tunisia, Iran, Israel, poker
I don’t play poker.
I don’t know how to play poker.
I never learned to play poker.

Somewhere in Israel’s defense and intelligence world our political and strategic experts are assessing our risks, figuring out the odds, and working out a game plan for Israel’s survival in the rapidly changing situation.

I wish them well
but I wouldn’t want to have their jobs.
It’s too much like poker.

-Dry Bones- Israel’s Political Comic Strip Since 1973

Iran’s Problem

Dry Bones cartoon: Iran, Nukes, Assassination, WMD, Nuclear Energy,
The latest report from the Washington Post:

Iranian scientist involved in nuclear program killed in Tehran bomb attack

“TEHRAN — A scientist linked to Iran’s nuclear program was killed in his car by a bomb-wielding assailant on Wednesday, a bold rush-hour attack that experts say points to a further escalation in a covert campaign targeting the country’s atomic officials and institutions.

The precision hit in a northern Tehran neighborhood killed the 32-year-old chemical engineer employed at Iran’s main uranium-enrichment facility and brought to four the number of Iranian scientists killed by bombs in the past two years. No one asserted responsibility for the bombing, which prompted a swirl of accusations and denials as well as renewed concerns about worsening tensions between Iran and the West.

An Iranian nuclear expert was killed Wednesday by a magnetic bomb attached to his car, state media reported. Officials were quoted as accusing Israel in the attack, suspected as part of a covert effort to set back Iran’s nuclear program.

U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said on Wednesday that Iran’s threats to close the Strait of Hormuz were provocative and dangerous. She also denied the U.S. had any role in the killing of an Iranian scientist.

Iranian officials immediately accused the United States and Israel of orchestrating the attack on scientist Mostafa Ahmadi-Roshan, who was killed along with his bodyguard when an assailant on a motorcycle slapped a magnetic bomb on his car as he commuted to work, according to Iranian news reports. Vice President Mohammad Reza Rahimiblamed the attack on “Zionists” and “those who claim they are against terrorism,” the semiofficial Fars News Agency reported.”-more

Your thoughts?

-Dry Bones- Israel’s Political Comic Strip Since 1973

Buzzing Ahmadinedad

Dry Bones cartoon: Israel,  Iran, Nukes,Technology, Ahmadinejad, Drones
Successfully Fighting the Iranian Nuclear threat would take both precisely controlled miniature drones and massive bombs.

Drones? According to Reuters:

Buzz of Israel’s drones resonates throughout region

(Reuters) – Service in the drone squadrons of Israel, the world’s oldest military operator of pilotless aircraft, sometimes begins on the fields of teenaged model plane enthusiasts.

Veteran air force officers scout new talent among radio-controlled model clubs, a drone commander said Monday during a rare media tour of his unit.

“It’s a small world, where everyone knows everyone,” said Major Gil, who under censorship regulations could not be identified by surname.

“Those youths who show promise and pass the initial tests are admitted to the course (after their conscription),” he said.

Also known as unmanned aerial vehicles (UAVs), the drones that dot the skies of Iraq, Afghanistan and other areas of U.S.-led operations began as an Israeli idea for improving real-time battlefield intelligence after the 1967 Middle East war.

“We are the first air force that started to use UAVs in an operational way,” Gil said.

Israel’s drones, like those of a few foreign powers, have since evolved into a sophisticated fleet of long-range surveillance platforms that are ever-present over the Gaza Strip and southern Lebanon.”-more

Massive Bombs? According to Russia Today:

US toothless against Iran rock: Pentagon seeks new superbomb

“Having considered the toughness of the rock-hidden Iranian nuclear facilities, America’s Nutcracker military command has decided to save jaw and develop a new conventional superbomb, since the US still plans to do the job in Iran without nukes.

Washington has once again reminded Tehran that it has the military capability to crack Iranian hard-target nuclear sites with conventional weapons, leaking to the Wall Street Journal plans to develop an even more effective bunker-buster bomb.

The American military is no longer in love with the most powerful non-nuclear weapon it possesses, the Massive Ordnance Penetrator (MOP), a 13,600-kilogram mammoth capable of penetrating deep underground facilities.

The Pentagon paid around $330 million to Boeing to develop and produce 20 MOP bombs, specially developed to destroy bunkers in countries like Iran and North Korea.

Now, the Defense Department intends to spend another $82 million, to make those bombs even more effective.

An MOP is capable of penetrating 60 meters of reinforced concrete or 38 meters of hard rock, delivering 2,700 kg of explosives deep down, to reliably demolish anything manmade. Yet, in the case of Iran’s Persian mountains, even this doesn’t seem enough.”-more

-Dry Bones- Israel’s Political Comic Strip Since 1973

Cyberwar

Dry Bones cartoon: hacking, Computers, War, Nerds, Technology, Wikileaks,
Latest Report:

Cyberwar report: Israel, Finland best prepared for conflict
31st January 2012 16:01 GMT

Analysis: Israel, Finland and Sweden are more prepared than larger nations to fight a conflict in cyberspace, according to a McAfee-backed cyber-defence study.

The study, Cyber-security: The Vexed Question of Global Rules, is based on interviews with experts in the nascent field by by McAfee and Security & Defence Agenda, a defence think-tank. No metrics are involved in the study, which even McAfee admits is largely subjective. Brussels-based SDA based its conclusions on “in-depth interviews with some 80 world-leading policy-makers and cyber-security experts” in government, business and academia in 27 countries as well as an anonymous survey of 250 world leaders in 35 countries.

For the record, among the key findings of the report are the contention that the state of cyber-readiness of the US, Australia, UK, China and Germany all rank behind that of smaller countries such as Israel, Sweden and Finland. -more

-Dry Bones- Israel’s Political Comic Strip Since 1973

Thou Shalt Not (1992)

February 10, 1992

(1992) Dry Bones cartoon: Israel,  Kosher, Politics, religion,
Today’s Golden Oldie cartoon is from 20 years ago this month. February 1992. Sigh. Another of those cartoons that could be run today without any changes.

BTW, If you don’t know about mixing wool and linen, it’s called shatnez. For the whole story check out the ShatnezTtesters of America.

-Dry Bones- Israel’s Political Comic Strip Since 1973

Assad the Alawite

Dry Bones cartoon: Alawite, Sunni, Shia, Iran, Syria, Islam, genocide4
Assad is not “killing his own people”! What is really going on in Syria is a war between the ruling Alawites (a kind of offshoot sect of Shia Islam) and the Sunni Moslems. So the Iranian Shias are backing the Alawites and Al Queda backs the Sunnis.

To understand the picture that the main stream media won’t show you click on a Reuters report called Against Syrian anger, Assad’s Alawite Muslim sect feels fear.

So if Assad’s people (Israel’s mortal enemies) face genocide and ethnic cleansing in Syria, what does the Jewish State do? According to the Cyprus Mail:

Israel readies for Alawite refugees if Asssad falls

“Israel is making preparations to house refugees from Syrian President Bashar al-Assad’s minority Alawite sect should his government fall, Israel’s military chief told a parliamentary committee today.

“On the day that the regime falls, it is expected to result in a blow to the Alawite sect. We are preparing to take in Alawite refugees on the Golan Heights,” a committee spokesman quoted Lieutenant-General Benny Gantz as saying.”-more

-Dry Bones- Israel’s Political Comic Strip Since 1973

New Year of the Trees (1981)

January 16, 1981

Click on the cartoon below to open a larger, more readable version of this full page Dry Bones Special:

1981 Dry Bones cartoon Tu BeShvat, Tu B'Shvat, Shuldig, Doobie, Holidays, Jewish Culture, Jewish, Judaism,

Tomorrow is Tu B’Shvat. The Jewish New Year of the Trees. I’m posting this Golden Oldie full page cartoon from a Tu B’Shvat way back in 1981. Back then I was doing a weekly full-page “Weekend Dry Bones” cartoon in the Jerusalem Post. In this Golden Oldie we see Doobie the Dog eager to find out what this week’s page will be about, and about what “role” he’ll be playing in it..

Mr. Shuldig often represents my sweetest, most Zionist, most Shmaltz-ladden feelings. Doobie the dog is there to represent my more cynical (down to earth?) side.

-Dry Bones- Israel’s Political Comic Strip Since 1973

Tu BeShvat

Dry Bones cartoon: Tu B'Shvat, Jewish Culture, Holidays, Tu B'Shvat,  Tu Beshvat, Trees, New Year, Environment, Judaism,

Hag Sameah!

Happy Holiday!

You can check out previous Tu B’Shvat cartoons by clicking on
TREES.

-Dry Bones- Israel’s Political Comic Strip Since 1973

Syria (1982)

February 12, 1982

(1982) Dry Bones cartoon: Muslim Brotherhood, Alawite, Assad, Syria, unrest, religion,
Today’s Golden Oldie is from 30 years ago this month. February 1982. What was going on? Syrian President Assad’s Alawite forces were massacring rebelling Sunnis.

According to Wikipedia

“The Hama massacre occurred in February 1982, when the Syrian army, under the orders of the country’s president, Hafez al-Assad, conducted a scorched earth operation against the town of Hama in order to quell a revolt by the Sunni Muslim community against the regime of al-Assad.The Hama massacre, carried out by the Syrian Army under commanding General Rifaat al-Assad, President Assad’s younger brother, effectively ended the campaign begun in 1976 by Sunni Islamic groups, including the Muslim Brotherhood, against Assad’s regime, whose leaders were disproportionately from president Assad’s own Alawite sect.

Diplomatic reports from western countries stated that about 1,000 were killed. The Syrian Government characterized the claims as lies and accused countries of “flagrant interference in Syria’s domestic affairs.”

Based on its sources, Amnesty International estimated that between between 5,000 to 25,000 were killed in the fighting on all sides. -more

-Dry Bones- Israel’s Political Comic Strip Since 1973

War in Syria

Dry Bones cartoon: Alawite, Sunni, Shia, Iran, Syria, Islam, genocide, Russia, China, Assad,
Russia and China are being demonized in the West for not signing on to a one-sided UN condemnation …against the Iran-backed Assad forces and ignoring the Moslem Brotherhood-backed Sunni forces. Any theory that I might present to explain the situation would make me sound like a conspiracy nut. So what do YOU think is really going on?

-Dry Bones- Israel’s Political Comic Strip Since 1973

Israeli Income

Dry Bones cartoon: Knesset,  Economy, economic crisis, Strike, ,
Here in Israel we are having labor problems. We just went through a general strike. One sector, however, has no problems. It just gave itself a retroactive raise in pay. Yup. The Knesset.

Details from the Jerusalem Post:

MKs unanimously approve raising their salaries

“One day before a planned general strike by the Histadrut labor federation over contract workers, the Knesset House Committee on Tuesday voted to give MKs a monthly raise of almost NIS 1,200, as well as a one-time payment of almost NIS 15,000.

MKs’ salaries are raised according to increases in the country’s average salary. In 2008, the increase was 3.3 percent. In 2009 there was a freeze.

The freeze remained in effect until now, although in 2010 a public panel that determines MK salaries recommended that legislators receive another 3.3% raise, which came to NIS 1,191 per month, with the updated monthly salary being NIS 40,891.

The eight MKs attending Tuesday’s House Committee meeting, all of whom were from the coalition, voted in favor of the raise.

MKs will also receive a one-time payment totaling NIS 14,995, representing a retroactive raise for January 2012 and all of 2011.”-more

-Dry Bones- Israel’s Political Comic Strip Since 1973

Money Money Money (1987)

Dry BonesFebruary 04, 1987

(1987) Dry Bones cartoon: Kirschen King Solomon, Economy, Kibbutz, West Bank, Settlements, Taxation,
Today’s Golden Oldie is from 25 years ago this month.
February 1982.

Yup.
Another old cartoon that I could run today as is!

-Dry Bones- Israel’s Political Comic Strip Since 1973

Bombing Attacks

Dry Bones cartoon: Naive Newsman, terror, Israel, Islamism, Iran, Media,
The Western news media coverage of the “Israel story” has been anti-Israel for quite some time.

A while ago I started playing with a character I called the Naive Newsman. The premise was that he is too naive to understand the slant he’s supposed to put onto the news. I’ve become tired of the idea so, with the latest series of Iranian-backed Islamist terror attacks, I decided to show that he is no longer naive.

He’s “ready for prime time”!

-Dry Bones- Israel’s Political Comic Strip Since 1973

Strikes, Snow, and a One-Day Weekend (1982)

Dry BonesFebruary 05, 1982

(1982) Dry Bones cartoon: Snow, Jerusalem, Strike, Weekend,
Today’s Golden Oldie is from 30 years ago this month.
February 1982.

Interesting that the latest local Israeli news at this moment is about the short nasty strikes we’ve been having and the prediction of a snow storm in Jerusalem this upcoming one-day weekend.

Sigh.

-Dry Bones- Israel’s Political Comic Strip Since 1973

Iran, Israel, and History

Dry Bones cartoon: Iran, Israel,  Holy War, War, Terrorism, Ahmadinejad, Shi'ite, Islamists,  Islamism,
I find the use of Mr. History to be comforting.

It’s because he’s looking back at our problems after they’re over. In our history.

So the question I’d ask is: “Did you find the cartoon comforting? funny? depressing?”

Nu?

-Dry Bones- Israel’s Political Comic Strip Since 1973

His eMail problem

Dry Bones cartoon: email,  Technology, Shuldig, guilt,
I use Mr. Shuldig as my alter ego.
To say what I’m thinking.
Today’s effort is embarrassingly close to what I’m going through.
Too many email addresses!

Yikes!

-Dry Bones- Israel’s Political Comic Strip Since 1973

Oy! (1983)

Dry Bones

(1983) Dry Bones cartoon: King Solomon, Pessimism, Optimism,
Today’s Golden Oldie is from 1983.

It’s one of the cartoons that was selected to be included in the traveling Dry Bones exhibit/catalog which will be released on April 20th 2012.

It’s part of my having been awarded the “Golden Pencil” award from the Israeli Museum of Caricature and Comics for my “lifetime achievement”.

In addition, I’ve been appointed a Senior Fellow of SIGNAL (Sino-Israel Global Network & Academic Leadership)

-Dry Bones- Israel’s Political Comic Strip Since 1973

Iranian Game Plan

Dry Bones cartoon: Iran, Europe, Appeasement, WMD, Nukes, boycott, ban
“They won’t buy”: according to the Times of India:

India, China plan sharp cuts to Iran oil imports as US presure mounts

BEIJING/NEW DELHI: “India, China and Japan are planning cuts of at least 10 per cent in Iranian crude imports as tightening US sanctions make it difficult for the top Asian buyers to keep doing business with the OPEC producer.

The countries together buy about 45 percent of Iran’s crude exports. The reductions are the first significant evidence of how much crude business Iran could lose in Asia this year as Washington tries to tighten a financial noose around Tehran.

The cuts would add to a European Union ban on Iran oil imports, which comes into effect on July 1,” -more

“They won’t sell”: from FARS Iranian News Agency:

Iranian Oil Minister Issues Ultimatum to EU Members

TEHRAN (FNA)- Iranian Oil Minister Rostam Qassemi called on the European countries to make a final decision on oil imports from Iran, warning that they will be sanctioned by Tehran otherwise.

“Iran has recently imposed a ban on oil exports to Britain and France as the main two states which pushed the EU to sanction oil imports from Iran.

Tehran’s Sunday decision to cut oil supplies to Britain and France came after the EU member states decided to impose a ban on Iranian oil, but said that they would put their decision into effect after six months in a bid to find a replacement for Iranian energy supplies.” -more

-Dry Bones- Israel’s Political Comic Strip Since 1973

Conditions for Peace (2002)

Dry BonesFebruary 11, 2002

(2002) Dry Bones cartoon: Muslim, Islamists, Arabs, Middle East, Peace,
Today’s Golden Oldie was done 10 years ago this month.

Another cartoon that is as depressingly true today as it was ten years ago!

-Dry Bones- Israel’s Political Comic Strip Since 1973

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