1 November 2011

Another thing I love about Israel, not a single trick or treater rang my bell last nightJust kidding

I did not choose the kid’s nameSmile with tongue out

kids



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A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, ‘Everyone who thinks they’re stupid, stand up!’ After a few seconds, Little Larry stood up. The teacher said, ‘Do you think you’re stupid, Larry?’ ‘No, ma’am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!’


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Larry watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. ‘Why do you do that, mommy?’ he asked. ‘To make myself beautiful,’ said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. ‘What’s the matter, asked Larry ‘Giving up?’

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The math teacher saw that Larry wasn’t paying attention in class. She called on him and said, ‘Larry! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?’ Larry quickly replied, ‘NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!’


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Larry’s kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. ‘Yes,’ said the policeman. ‘The detectives want very badly to capture him.’ Larry asked, “Why didn’t you keep him when you took his picture?”


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Little Larry attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse’s legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Larry asked, ‘Dad, why are you doing that?’ His father replied, ‘Because when I’m buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy. Larry, looking worried, said, ‘Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom ….’


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If this brightened your day, don’t let it stop here. Keep spreading the cheer!

WARNING RELEASED:

Vodka and ice will ruin your kidneys. Rum and ice will ruin your liver.

Whisky and ice will ruin your heart. Gin and ice will ruin your brain.

Pepsi and ice will ruin your teeth.

Apparently ice is lethal! Warn all your friends: Lay off the ice – Just drink it
straight!

Copy & paste this immediately. You could save a life!

And, don’t forget it also sank the Titanic!

The person who put this together is a pure, creative GENIUS….. Classic Movies Redone The Treasure of Sierra Madre

DDT.2p3741f1xdnvs_m3qhpry1gdf

* * * * * * The Wizard of Oz * * * * * *

DDT.9okfhevte7nc6vlje0o21p7ub

DDT.y5eolbfpfry79aa5pkmitbmdh

* * * * * * Gone With The Wind * * * * * *

DDT.9kil2zbtb2dxrb6f_48dvvufg

DDT.mt_u51u5srabx_6ku1qvcz60d

* * * * * * Bonnie & Clyde * * * * * *

DDT.1q4e_zxt1ycuxdr321iz1b7cd

* * * * * * The Godfather * * * * * *

DDT.q5gbwzt4ssxydcwfoo9_xv2dh

DDT.764a1bju9u__d61ivrjseyfse

** * * * * The Wizard of Oz * * * * * *

DDT.z294ziud9zx0uvikfei6xvted

* * * * * * It’s A Wonderful Life * * * * * *

DDT.7nxder_6wqbqvpqbuta_szdlb

* * * * * * Reality * * * * * *

DDT.s9nshu6_ym05g8qx3dk9z9esh

DDT.tsr2_rzoohk7w0m9sbu93q08

* * * * * * More reality * * * * * *

DDT.1n6jgo_aiiadz59f6yfm0bo5

* * * * * * Still more * * * * * *

DDT.iu2w6u0h7v4ung53w76w55sl

* * * * * * And a couple of more?’ * * * * * *

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Nope, gotta have just one more!

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Way too good….not to share!!!!!!!! The OBAMA motto: We’ve got what it takes, to take what you’ve got!

If Con is the opposite of Pro, is Congress the opposite of Progress?


Another Tack- Saccharine for the masses (Sarah Honig)

Unholy Wafers At first Oreos were an unkosher, forbidden temptation. Then they became just another unhealthy cookie. By Marjorie
The latest from Latma

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Welcome to the ancient world  Israel is part of the Eastern Mediterranean wine-growing region, a region that gave wine culture to the world.

Subject: I didn’t know this………how special
 


WHO KNEW?

Some things you probably did not know about
Martha Raye

Most of the old time entertainers were made
out of a lot sterner stuff than today’s crop of activists and
whiners.

It was just before Thanksgiving ’67 and we were ferrying
dead and wounded from a large GRF west of Pleiku,Vietnam

We had run out of body bags by noon, so the Hook (CH-47 CHINOOK)
was pretty rough in the back.
All of a sudden, we heard a ‘take-charge’ woman’s voice in the rear.

There was the singer and actress, Martha Raye, with a SF (Special
Forces) beret and jungle fatigues, with subdued markings, helping the
wounded into the Chinook,
and carrying the dead aboard. ‘Maggie’ had been visiting her SF
‘heroes’ out ‘west’.

We took off, short of fuel, and headed to the USAF hospital pad at
Pleiku.
As we all started unloading, our Captain said to Martha.
… Ms Ray, with all these dead and wounded to process, there
would not be time for your show!

To all of our surprise, she pulled on her right collar and
said…..Captain, see this eagle?
I am a full ‘Bird’ Colonel in the US Army Reserve, and on this is
a ‘Caduse’ which means
I am a Nurse, with a surgical specialty….now, take me to your
wounded.
He said, yes ma’am…. Follow me.

Several times at the Army Field Hospital in Pleiku, she would
‘cover’ a surgical shift,
giving a nurse a well-deserved break.

Martha is the only woman buried in the SF (Special Forces)
cemetery at Ft. Bragg .

!cid_1_1475707139@web161701_mail_bf1_yahoo

“Only in Israel” By Israeli humorist, Efraim Kishon

Israel is a country surrounded on all sides by enemies, but the
people’s headaches are caused by the neighbors upstairs.

Israel is the only country in the world where the coffee is already so
good that Starbucks went bankrupt trying to break into the local
market.

Israel is one of the few places in the world where the sun sets into
the Mediterranean Sea.

Israel is the only country in the world whose soldiers eat three sets
of salads a day, none of which contain any lettuce (which is not
really a food), and where olives ARE a food and even a main course in a meal,

rather than something one tosses into a martini.

Israel is the only country in the world where one is unlikely to dig a
cellar without hitting ancient archaeological artifacts.

Israel is the only country in the world where the leading writers in
the country take buses.

Israel is the only country in the world where the graffiti is in Hebrew.

Israel is the only country in the world that has a National Book Week,
during which almost everyone attends a book fair and buys books.

Israel is a country where the same drivers who cuss you and flip you
the bird will immediately pull over and offer you all forms of help if
you look like you need it.

Israel is the only country in the world with bus drivers and taxi
drivers who read Spinoza and Maimonides.

Israel is the only country in the world where no one cares what rules
say when an important goal can be achieved by bending them.

Israel is the only country in the world where reservists are bossed
around and commanded by officers,
male and female, younger than their own children.

Israel is the only country in the world where “small talk” consists of
loud, angry debate over politics and religion.

Israel is the only country in the world where the ultra-Orthodox Jews
beat up the police and not the other way around.

Israel is the only country in the world where inviting someone “out for
a drink” means drinking cola, coffee or tea.

Israel is the only country in the world where bank robbers kiss the
mezuzahas when they leave with their loot.

Israel is one of the few countries in the
world that truly likes and admires the United States.

Israel is the only country in the world that introduces applications of
high-tech gadgets and devices, such as printers in banks that print out
your statement on demand, years ahead of the United States and decades ahead of Europe.

Israel is the only country in the world where everyone on a flight gets
to know one another before the plane lands. In many cases, they also
get to know the pilot and all about his health or marital problems.

Israel is the only country in the world where no one has a foreign
accent because everyone has a foreign accent.

Israel is the only country in the world where people cuss using dirty
words in Russian or Arabic because Hebrew has never developed them.

Israel is the only country in the world where patients visiting
physicians end up giving the doctor advice.

Israel is the only country in the world where everyone strikes up
conversations while waiting in lines.

Israel is the only country in the world where people call an attache
case a “James Bond” and the “@” sign is called a “strudel”.

Israel is the only country in the world where there is the most
mysterious and mystical calm ambience in the streets on Yom Kippur,
which cannot be explained unless you have experienced it. Sunsets in
Jerusalem are gorgeous every evening.

Israel is the only country in the world where people read English,
write Hebrew, and joke in Yiddish

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