Tu BeShvat (2004)
Today’s cartoon is from 2004 …not really what you’d call a Golden Oldie, but it is from before I started the blog …and today is Tu BeShvat.
So Happy New Year Holiday of the Trees! An important part of Israel’s culture, as we fight against the desertification of the planet (and the nations of the world fight against us).
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Many of those who stand with us are not Jews, a subtext of today’s cartoon.
-Dry Bones- Israel’s Political Comic Strip Since 1973
Ø I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way, so I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
Ø Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Ø The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it’s still on the list..
Ø If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
Ø We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
Ø War does not determine who is right – only who is left.
Ø Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Ø Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
Ø To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; To steal from many is research.
Ø A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
Ø Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.
Ø I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.
Ø A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.
Ø Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says “In an emergency, notify:” I put “DOCTOR”.
Ø I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
Ø Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Ø Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America ?
Ø A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Ø You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
Ø The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
Ø Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
Ø A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
Ø Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
Ø I discovered I scream the same way whether I’m about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.
Ø I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.
Ø I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.
Ø You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
Ø To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
Ø Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
Ø A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
Ø Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Turning a Kosher Boy to the Dark Side Message to the boy: Dump her
Lebanese paper: Shin Bet gave Palestinian polio ‘A-Safir’ claims an Israeli agent paid a prisoner to put a pill in a Palestinian prisoner’s drinking, leading to his paralysis
Written by a 90 year old:-
This is something we should all read at least once a week!!!!! Make sure you read to the end!!!!!!
Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of the Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio .
“To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most requested column I’ve ever written.
My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:
1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and
parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.
8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.
12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God never blinks.
16.. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t
save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ‘In five years, will
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.
35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d
grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come…
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.”
Its estimated 93% won’t forward this. If you are one of the 7% who will,
forward this with the title ‘7%’.
I’m in the 7%. Friends are the family that we choose.
PA FM condemns Israel’s ‘Judaization’ of Jerusalem In interview with Arab paper, Malki laments “land rush” in east Jerusalem after Shepherd Hotel injunction lifted,, says Arab League ignored “Islamic holy city.”