28 December 2010

Pogroms

BDS boycott antisemitism pogrom : Dry Bones cartoon.
Pogroms were wild outbreaks of marauding lynch mobs driven by the fever of viral antisemitism. The Nazis, on the other hand, had better PR and began with boycotts.

Nazi Boycott – Then

* * *

BDS Boycott – Now

* * *

I’m planning a U.S./Canada speaking tour for May 2011. The goal will be to do something about the delegitimization problem. What can one Jewish joke-telling cartoonist do? Stay tuned for further information.

-Dry Bones- Israel’s Political Comic Strip Since 1973

 

1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she’d done many times before.  After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, “But Grandma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!”  I will probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye….
2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday.  He asked me how old I was, and I told him, 62.   My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked,  “Did you start at 1?”
3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair.  As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings.  As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice,
“Who was THAT?”
4. A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like.  “We used to skate outside on a pond.   I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard.  We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods.”
The little girl was wide-eyed,  taking this all in.  At last she said, “I sure wish I’d gotten to know you sooner!”
5.  My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, “Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?” I mentally polished my halo and I said, “No, how are we alike?”  “You’re both old,” he replied.
6. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather’s word processor. She told him she was writing a story.
“What’s it about?” he asked.
“I don’t know,” she replied. “I can’t read.”
7.  I didn’t know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her.  I would point out  something and ask what color it was.  She would tell me and was always correct.  It was fun for me, so I continued.  At last, she headed for the door, saying, “Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these colors  yourself!”
8. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin,  we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in.  Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, “It’s no use Grandpa.  Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights.”
9. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, “I’m not sure.”  “Look in your underwear, Grandpa,” he advised  “Mine says I’m 4 to 6.”
10. A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, “Grandma, guess what?  We learned how to make babies today.”  The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. “That’s interesting.” she said.  “How do you make babies?”
“It’s simple,” replied the girl. “You just change ‘y’ to ‘i’ and add ‘es’.”
11. Children’s Logic: “Give me a sentence about a public servant,” said a teacher. The small boy wrote:  “The fireman came down the ladder pregnant.” The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. “Don’t you know what pregnant means?” she asked.
“Sure,” said the young boy confidently. ‘It means carrying a child.”
12. A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one day when a fire truck zoomed past.  Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog.  The children started discussing the dog’s duties.
“They use him to keep crowds back,” said one child.
“No,” said another. “He’s just for good luck.”
A third child brought the argument to a close.”They use the dogs,” she said firmly, “to find the fire hydrants.”
13. A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived.  “Oh,” he said, “she lives at the airport, and when we want her, we just go get her.  Then, when we’re done having her visit, we take her back to the airport.”
14. Grandpa is the smartest man on earth!  He teaches me good good things, but I don’t get to see him enough to get as smart as him!
15. My Grandparents are funny, when they bend over,  you  hear gas leaks and they blame their dog.
SEND THIS TO OTHER GRANDPARENTS, ALMOST GRANDPARENTS, OR HECK, SEND IT TO EVERYONE.
    IT WILL MAKE THEIR DAY!

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3 thoughts on “28 December 2010

  1. Thanks for a great laugh. I needed that. Spent my first shabbos alone – and it was fine. The kids went away. they asked me to come with them, but frankly, I’d had my fill of in and out of suitcases after 2 months – so I begged off and told them they were entitled to their space – and I need mine. I’m a big girl now – it’s time I grew up!

    Hope that you and Ricki are well, and that the new Year is a good one for you. You are both such good friends, and I loved spending time with you in Israel. Hope to come back for pesach, but haven’t reserved yet. Look forward to seeing you then. Are you really going on a speaking tour in May?? You can stay here. I’m totally accessible., and wheelchair friendly. Doorways and all. That’s the joy of a new building.

    Love.

    Carol

    • My pleasure and glad that everything is working out for you. No, I am not going on a speaking tour, the author of dry bones is, the post was from his blog. Take good care and we look forward to seeing you on Pesach.

  2. hope alls well. we head bacK FROM SUNNY FLORIDA TO N. Y. AND LEAVE FORSRAEL JAN. 5TH. HOPE YOU GET OUR MESSAGES, H&Z

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