They’re Back! Church Bulletins:
Thank God for church ladies with typewriters – mis-spellings, bad sentence construction or choice of words all make for fun reading. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:
The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
The sermon this morning: ‘Jesus Walks on the Water.’
The sermon tonight: ‘Searching for Jesus.’
Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house.
Bring your husbands.
The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled
due to a conflict..
Don’t let worry kill you off –
let the Church help.
Miss Charlene Mason sang ‘I will not pass this way again,’
giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
For those of you who have children and don’t know it,
we have a nursery downstairs.
The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing:
‘Break Forth Into Joy.’
Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church.
So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be ‘What Is Hell?’
Come early and listen to our choir practice.
Please place your donation in the envelope,
along with the deceased person you want remembered.
The church will host an evening of fine dining,
super entertainment and gracious hostility.
Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM –
prayer and medication to follow.
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind.
They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
This evening at 7 PM there will be hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM.
All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.
The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM.
Please use the back door.
The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM.
The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.
Please use large double door at the side entrance.
The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: ‘I Upped My Pledge –
23 December 2010
It’s been a busy couple of days and I am now trying to catch up. Yesterday, Ricki and I picked up our oldest Granddaughter, Sara, at University and took her to the Eretz Israel Museum in Tel Aviv. They have an exhibit that I very much wanted to see called foto Rachel and we were not disappointed. It runs until the end of March and I recommend it highly.
While I am discussing special museum exhibits, here in Jerusalem, across from the Israel Museum (worth a post on its own) is the Bible Lands Museum. Ricki and I saw an exhibit there called Angels & Demons, Jewish Magic Through The Ages. I do not know how much longer it will run by it is well worth the 1.5 hours it takes to see it.
What are the 100 greatest Jewish songs ever? Tablet Magazine’s musicologists rank them all, from sacred to pop to hiphop, from Rabbi Akiva to Amy Winehouse. Songs of Songs
Great British humour
Senior Citizen Bumper Stickers
Camel beauty pageant draws tens of thousands of contestants View online