19 December 2010

Thank you AS for the following, I have added the follow up to it.

Rabbi says Western Wall cameras desecrate Sabbath

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

(12-15) 04:28 PST JERUSALEM, Israel (AP) —

A leading Israeli rabbi has declared the Western Wall off limits to the faithful on the holiest day of the week because of security cameras that he says desecrate the Sabbath.

The trouble at Judaism’s holiest prayer site is with the technology, says Yosef Shalom Eliashiv, a 100-year-old rabbinical authority widely revered among ultra-Orthodox Jews.

Devout Jews strictly adhere to the biblical commandment to refrain from work on the Sabbath. Eliashiv says those coming into view of the closed-circuit surveillance cameras activate a light inside the devices, violating the Jewish prohibition on operating electronics on the Sabbath.

An ultra-Orthodox Jewish newspaper in Israel published the rabbi’s warning to the devout last weekend. He says Jews should not visit the site on the Sabbath until the technology has proper rabbinic supervision.

The rabbi overseeing the Western Wall, Shmuel Rabinowitz, said he and the Jerusalem police were working to fix the problem.

Police spokesman Shmuel Ben-Ruby said if rabbinical authorities propose a technological solution, “we will happily consider it.”

The Western Wall, located in Jerusalem’s Old City, is a retaining wall of the compound where the biblical temples stood 2,000 years ago. Devout Jews and tourists pray in front of the outdoor site and stick small prayer notes between the stones of the wall.

It is Israel’s most-visited site.


Halacha expert slams ban on visiting Kotel on Shabbat

Senior haredi adjudicator recently prohibited visiting Western Wall on Shabbat due to halachic problems with the security cameras. Read it here


Jewish group releases list of top ten slurs of 2010

Simon Wiesenthal Center puts Helen Thomas in 1st place, Oliver Stone, Mahatir Mohammad, and Rick Sanchez among others on list.

Read it here


Two elderly  women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning. Ethel noticed  something funny about Mabel’s ear and she said, ”Mabel, do you know you’ve  got a suppository in your left ear?’ Mabel answered, ‘I have a suppository in  my ear?’ She pulled it out and stared at it.

Then she said, ‘Ethel, I’m  glad you saw this thing. Now I think I know where to find my hearing  aid.’

When the  husband finally died his wife put the usual death notice in the paper, but  added that he died of gonorrhea.

No sooner were the papers delivered when a  friend of the family phoned and complained bitterly, ‘You know very well that  he died of diarrhea, not gonorrhea.’ Replied the widow, ‘I nursed him night  and day so of course I know he died of diarrhea, but I thought it would be  better for posterity to remember him as a great lover rather than the big shit he always was.’

An elderly  couple were on a cruise and it was really stormy. They were standing on the  back of the boat watching the moon, when a wave came up and washed the old  woman overboard. They searched for days and couldn’t find her, so the captain  sent the old man back to shore with the promise that he would notify him as  soon as they found something. Three weeks went by and finally the old man got  a fax from the boat. It read: ‘Sir, sorry to inform you, we found your wife  dead at the bottom of the ocean. We hauled her up to the deck and attached to her butt was an oyster and in it was a pearl worth $50,000 . please advise.’  The old man faxed back: ‘Send me the pearl and re-bait the  trap.’

A funeral  service is being held for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the  service, the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally  bump into a wall, jarring the casket . They hear a faint moan. They open the  casket and find that the woman is actually alive! She lives for ten more years, and then dies. Once again, a ceremony is held, and at the end of it,  the pall bearers are again carrying out the casket. As they carry the casket towards the door, the husband cries out, ‘Watch that wall!’

When I  went to lunch today, I noticed an old lady sitting on a park bench sobbing her  eyes out. I stopped and asked her what was wrong. She said, ‘I have a 22 year  old husband at home. He makes love to me every morning and then gets up and  makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and freshly ground coffee.’

I said,  ‘Well, then why are you crying?’ She said, ‘He makes me homemade soup for  lunch and my favorite brownies and then makes love to me for half the afternoon.

I said, ‘Well, why are you crying?’ She said, ‘For dinner he  makes me a gourmet meal with wine and my favorite dessert and then makes love  to me until 2:00 a.m. ‘ I said, ‘Well, why in the world would you be crying?’  She said, ‘I can’t remember where I live!’

Two  elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had  shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had  been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.

One day they  were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, ‘Now don’t get mad  at me….I know we’ve been friends for a long time…..but I just can’t think  of your name! I’ve thought and thought, but I can’t remember it. Please tell  me what your name is.’ Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, ‘How soon do you need to  know?’

Now, I  think you’re supposed to send this to 5 or 6, maybe 10.

oh hell, send it to  a bunch of your friends if you can remember who they are. Then something is  supposed to happen . . . . I think.

Subject: FW: The Origin of Expressions

In George Washington’s days, there were no cameras. One’s image was either sculpted or painted. Some paintings of George Washington showed him standing behind a desk with one arm behind his back while others showed both legs and both arms. Prices charged by painters were not based on how many people were to be painted, but by how many limbs were to be painted. Arms and legs are ‘limbs,’ therefore painting them would cost the buyer more. Hence the expression, ‘Okay, but it’ll cost you an arm and a leg.’ (Artists know hands and arms are more difficult to paint)
As incredible as it sounds, men and women took baths only twice a year (May and October) Women kept their hair covered, while men shaved their heads (because of lice and bugs) and wore wigs. Wealthy men could afford good wigs made from wool. They couldn’t wash the wigs, so to clean them they would carve out a loaf of bread, put the wig in the shell, and bake it for 30 minutes. The heat would make the wig big and fluffy, hence the term ‘big wig.’ Today we often use the term ‘here comes the Big Wig’ because someone appears to be or is powerful and wealthy.
In the late 1700’s, many houses consisted of a large room with only one chair. Commonly, a long wide board folded down from the wall, and was used for dining. The ‘head of the household’ always sat in the chair while everyone else ate sitting on the floor. Occasionally a guest, who was usually a man, would be invited to sit in this chair during a meal. To sit in the chair meant you were important and in charge. They called the one sitting in the chair the ‘chair man.’ Today in business, we use the expression or title ‘Chairman’ or ‘Chairman of the Board..’
Personal hygiene left much room for improvement. As a result, many women and men had developed acne scars by adulthood. The women would spread bee’s wax over their facial skin to smooth out their complexions. When they were speaking to each other, if a woman began to stare at another woman’s face she was told, ‘mind your own bee’s wax.’ Should the woman smile, the wax would crack, hence the term ‘crack a smile’. In addition, when they sat too close to the fire, the wax would melt . . . Therefore, the expression ‘losing face.’
Ladies wore corsets, which would lace up in the front. A proper and dignified woman, as in ‘straight laced’. . Wore a tightly tied lace.
Common entertainment included playing cards. However, there was a tax levied when purchasing playing cards but only applicable to the ‘Ace of Spades.’ To avoid paying the tax, people would purchase 51 cards instead. Yet, since most games require 52 cards, these people were thought to be stupid or dumb because they weren’t ‘playing with a full deck.’
Early politicians required feedback from the public to determine what the people considered important. Since there were no telephones, TV’s or radios, the politicians sent their assistants to local taverns, pubs, and bars. They were told to ‘go sip some ale’ and listen to people’s conversations and political concerns.. Many assistants were dispatched at different times. ‘You go sip here’ and ‘You go sip there.’ The two words ‘go sip’ were eventually combined when referring to the local opinion and, thus we have the term ‘gossip.’
At local taverns, pubs, and bars, people drank from pint and quart-sized containers. A bar maid’s job was to keep an eye on the customers and keep the drinks coming. She had to pay close attention and remember who was drinking in ‘pints’ and who was drinking in ‘quarts,’ hence the term minding your ‘P’s and ‘Q’s
One more and betting you didn’t know this!
In the heyday of sailing ships, all war ships and many freighters carried iron cannons. Those cannons fired round iron cannon balls. It was necessary to keep a good supply near the cannon. However, how to prevent them from rolling about the deck? The best storage method devised was a square-based pyramid with one ball on top, resting on four resting on nine, which rested on sixteen. Thus, a supply of 30 cannon balls could be stacked in a small area right next to the cannon. There was only one problem…how to prevent the bottom layer from sliding or rolling from under the others. The solution was a metal plate called a ‘Monkey’ with 16 round indentations.
However, if this plate were made of iron, the iron balls would quickly rust to it. The solution to the rusting problem was to make ‘Brass Monkeys.’ Few landlubbers realize that brass contracts much more and much faster than iron when chilled.
Consequently, when the temperature dropped too far, the brass indentations would shrink so much that the iron cannonballs would come right off the monkey. Thus, it was quite literally, ‘Cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey.’ (All this time, you thought that was an improper expression, didn’t you.)

Rube Goldberg Remembered – click


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